My Farewell to 2008, with a little help from my boy Josh

Dear Family & Friends--

I bought my boy Josh's Christmas CD this year. Gasp! How on earth did I manage to function without it? I can't say. One of the songs is called "Thankful." It is amazing! Tonight will you too take a moment and look beyond all that needs to be done in your life and in the world and focus on what we have to be grateful for this year. It has been an amazing year for me and my family. Thank you for being a part of it.

God bless you all in the new year. Be happy and be safe. Know you are loved.

Love,
Sarah



Click here to listen to it. And then read the lyrics below.

"Thankful"

Some days we forget
To look around us
Some days we can't see
The joy that surrounds us
So caught up inside ourselves
We take when we should give.

So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be.
And on this day we hope for
What we still can't see.
It's up to us to be the change
And even though we all can still do more
There's so much to be thankful for.

Look beyond ourselves
There's so much sorrow
It's way too late to say
I'll cry tomorrow
Each of us must find our truth
It's so long overdue

So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be
And every day we hope for
What we still can't see
It's up to us to be the change
And even though we all can still do more
There's so much to be thankful for.

Even with our differences
There is a place we're all connected
Each of us can find each other's light

So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be
And on this day we hope for
What we still can't see
It's up to us to be the change
And even though this world needs so much more

There's so much to be thankful for

Course Corrections and Such

On Sunday I was "discussing" with my 8 1/2 year old daughter why she wasn't wearing the new, fluffy, beautiful Christmas dress I bought her for Christmas.
Her: shoulders shrugging.
Me: But why?
Her: I don't know.
Me: But you liked it when I bought it!
Her: I don't like it now.
Me: But I bought it for you special! (slight whine in my voice)

Here Nate enters into the picture after listening to this for a few minutes.

Nate to me: Did she ask you to buy it for her?
Me: (quietly) No.
Nate: Well?
Me: (no response)

It was true. She hadn't asked for it. I had bought it for her because I thought she would like it. Because she USED to like big, fluffy, beautiful dresses-- like when she was just 8 and NOT 8 1/2! But now she doesn't. It was something I liked and wanted her to wear.

That was the end of the "discussion." She's worn the dress once. Luckily I paid only $20 for it at Costco. Sigh. I guess I won't be buying any clothes for her without her there to supervise. I knew this was coming, but I didn't expect it so soon.
-----------------------------------------

Yesterday I accidentally whacked my brass plate holder with my grandma's china plate in it and sent it to the floor with a crash. But not before it smashed into my heel, bruising it, and cutting my foot. The plate ended up in many, many pieces. And I ended up feeling stupid and bleeding slightly.

Ah, such is life.

And as I'm writing, since I'm not paying attention, my baby/toddler has taken the wooden spoon I gave him to "entertain" him while I was otherwise occupied and dumped out the entire bowl of dog food and spread it (with the spoon) all over the floor. I mean, ALL over the floor. My kitchen is covered with about 50 pieces of dog food.

I bet I can pay my son a quarter to pick it up. OR maybe I can just leave it long enough that the dog will eat it all up. Oh, now the baby is trying to hand feed the dog the food. With the large wooden spoon.

Ah, such is life. I must go!

Chicken Tracks in the Snow

I found these tracks at dusk in the freshly fallen snow in my backyard. It was quite poetic in its own right.


But perhaps you have to be a bird brain like me to find them fabulous!

Post Christmas crazies

It was GREAT Christmas!! Really, it was fabulous.

And now it's the day after. That whole "Everything we've built up to and stressed about for over a month is over-- now what do we do?" feeling. Yep. I've got it. I've got a ton of leftovers-- curse that cheesecake!!!--, a boat-load of recycling things (paper, cardboard, etc.), hyper kids, an empty playpen under the tree.... It's a bit depressing.

And if I wasn't struggling enough, Bath and Body Works (B&BW) is TORTURING me!!

I'm serious! It's their semi-annual sale and they keep sending me emails and....

GAWK!!! (eyes popping)

$3 body cream. $3!! I'm almost at my breaking point! How can I turn away from $3?!?!? I can't! They are normally $10 to $11. Such savings......hardly breathing....must go shopping....must buy creams for $3.......deep breathing....

Let's ignore the fact that I currently have 16 bottles of lotion from B & BW, 9 of which are body creams. Really? Does that even matter?

No. I'm half way through three of my favorite scents. I need a back up tube for each one of them. I need to buy...

And they keep sending me emails and I'm just not able to handle it. And there's an online store. And the $3 sale ends tomorrow.

GGGGAAAAAAAWWWWWWWKKKKKKKKKK!!!

I'm going to go eat some cheesecake and try to avoid these impulses to purchase.

But wouldn't it aid the economy? Isn't it my patriotic duty? Shouldn't I spend, spend, spend??

Sigh. :o(

Cheesecake will help. It's from the Cheesecake Factory.

Oh-- but before I go-- you don't think I'm addicted to B&BW, do you???

Merry Christmas, dear friends & family!

No celebration of Christmas would be complete without a song or two (or ten) by Josh Groban. Here's my Christmas card to all of you-- my boy Josh singing "O Holy Night" along with video from a nativity movie.

May the spirit of Christ fill your hearts and homes with peace and love. That is my Christmas wish for you.



Merry Christmas!

I should know better!

There are two or three blogs I read from way distant friends (can they be called that?) associates/aquaintances that I should not read. I know better. They always make me feel ..... like a high school girl who wasn't voted "Most likely to ___(blank, blank, blank). You know that feeling?? So in my perusal of blogs today I went back to a couple of these sites. Gawk!

And wouldn't you know it, I ended up feeling smug. And discouraged. And frumpy.

Surprise? No.

DUH!! Earth to Sarah. Perhaps I should just delete their addresses from my bookmarks list. But I can't. I just need to not look at them. Not read them. Sad, isn't it?

They are like fashion catalogs or mall stores. They will only end up making me feel ugly and less desirable.

Sigh. I need another funny to combat this.... hold on, I'll go find one....

Okay this is from the same website where my sister found the one below:

("Despite years of personal development, she still turned into her mother.")

When I read this one the first time I laughed until I had tears in my eyes! It's too classic.

Here's the website: http://www.stickergiant.com/turning-into-your-mother_y8422.html

They are fridge magnets. But careful looking at the others-- some have WAY BAD potty mouth!! Just a friendly warning.

Deep breath. There I feel better. My baby/toddler needs a nap. I will go and join him. And forget that someone else appears to be having a more marvelous life than I.

AND-- if you EVER, EVER feel that way about my blog, then let me know! Gasp! What a terrible thought for me. NO perfected life here. Want proof? I'll give you proof! I don't shave my legs for days at a time! (gasp!)

:o)

Have a nice day.

Ah, motherhood....

I was reading this blog earlier this morning about this calm, patient, loving mother and feeling my heart prick because I'm not any of those "classic" mother traits. I would never pass for June Cleaver. I'm not always looking at my children and feeling my heart overflowing with bliss and euphoria. (Note to self: find time to make that "euphoria" happen seeing as how it hasn't EVER occurred! ;o) )

So anyways, just at the point when I'm thinking "whoa! what's my deal?" my sister emailed me this picture. And I had to post it. A "June Cleaver" with my sense of humor.

Oh well! To each mother her own. Enjoy your parenting style regardless of the rest of the mothers. We must all make our own mothering path.



Thanks, J, it made my day and restored my perspective.

Got to go grab the pen from the baby's hand and make him stop standing on the rocking chair....

My Treasure Chest

When my daughter moved her bedroom downstairs last month, we spent weeks trying to move things out of what used to be the "pink & purple" guest room, get her things downstairs, find a home for all the craft stuff & miscellaneous junk I had hidden in the closet of the guest room, paint over the pink walls of the old room, move the baby's things around, etc.... It was a HUGE project.

But when it was all over, there was still no place to put the doll cabinet/curio case I inherited from my grandma. There just didn't seem to be a good fit. Eventually I decided to put it in my bedroom. I moved my dresser where the crib had been and put the doll cabinet where the dresser had stood. Then it took me a couple days to get all the treasures put back into the cabinet.

I was really worried beforehand that I wouldn't like having the doll cabinet in my room because of how much space it took, but....

I LOVE IT! It's my own personal treasure chest. It's filled with all my special memories:
china from my grandmas, special gifts from family and friends, old dolls, vases, souvenirs from Russia & Germany, an award from the city, childhood toys and dolls, all sorts of useful, wonderful things. It is a fabulous collection!

Every day I gaze at my "stuff" and love it! I'm happy to finally have it on display! I just wanted to share it. Here's a picture...

And my favorite part is that the cute elf on top is holding the skeleton key to open the cabinet! So cute! And he's surrounded by fairies!


Just proof that part of me never grew up! I'm still a kid inside (and proud of it!)

A prayer

This was a prayer I found myself uttering yesterday while on route to mail Christmas packages at the post office.

"....and please help me to have lots of patience while standing in the lllloooonnnggg lines and-- Good Grief, Woman! Will you drive the speed limit or GET OFF THE ROAD!!! Sheesh!...."

(mental pause)

"HA! HA! HA!" laughing outloud at my ridiculousness!

Nice and ironic, huh?

Luckily for I used the Automated Postal Center and waited for one man to finish his package (about 1 minute) and then mailed my packages. Meanwhile the line to the counters (which hadn't yet opened) grew from 15 people when I first arrived to about 25 by the time I left.

Also luckily, I didn't have to use that prayed-for patience. But I did laugh at myself for the rest of the morning.

Just had to share.

Book Tag

This one is cool-- so cool that I copied it off the "Seriously So Blessed" blog. You have to help me do this!! Post a comment with your 5th sentence, PLEASE!??!!

1. Pick up the nearest book of at least 123 pages. Don't pick the coolest or most impressive one, just the NEAREST one.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence and post it!
4. Spread this tag to as many people as you can.

I LOVE this cartoon!

Being a Mom, part two

Being a mom means:

-carefully measuring glasses of water/juice/etc. to make sure they are perfectly even and thus avoiding the "That's NOT fair" whine.
-listening to 5 year old boy knock-knock jokes on the way to school
Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Dog, driveway, mailbox, crossing guard, head.
Dog, driveway, mailbox, crossing guard, head, who?
HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, you're the funniest one ever!!!
-hearing "that's not fair" repeated many, many, many, many times everyday.
-knowing that if you like the clothes and actually buy them for your daughter, she will hate them instantly and immediately start yelling in protest at the sight of them EVEN THOUGH your neighbor could buy the EXACT same thing and give it to her and she would love it and beg for you to wash it. (no bitterness here!)
-inane arguments:
I saw it first
No you didn't, I did.
Nu-uh. I SAW IT!
You are such a liar! I did. You can't even read.
Yes I can and YOU are the liar.
No I'm not. I don't lie because I'm in 3rd grade.
No you're not!
Yes, I am. You're so dumb.
No I'm not dumb. You are!
You!
You!
No you!
-pulling your hairbrush out of the toilet and out of your toddler's hand.
-hiding the toilet brush in the shower so the toddler stops using it to clean the floors.
-making yucky dinners, night after night-- even if you did get the recipes from an ACTUAL book or off a TV show. They are still yucky. And poison. And garbage. And your children will die.
-hiding the candy you are trying to eat under a towel when a children-- darn him!-- comes upstairs to ask what the rattling sound.
-pretending like you don't know why something sounded like candy opening or like a soda can opening. And smiling and asking about homework instead.
-trying not to compete with the mothers at school who bring a whole cake, plus goodie bags, plus balloons, PLUS a singing/dancing/magic performing clown for their child's birthday (all according to your sobbing child) and "what is wrong with you, woman??!!?" when you only want to bring fruit snacks (made with real fruit juice too!). Sheesh!
-volunteering in the classroom even when you don't want to OR faking some sort of injury or sickness that prevents you from being around small children.
-choosing restaurants based on their playplaces and NOT on the quality of their food. Blech!
-going through parent magazines and books trying to find yet another reward chart idea that might actually make your children do their chores without whining/crying/screaming/faking an injury or illness.

And.....? what does being a mom mean to you?

(to be continued later when I think of MORE things).

Being a Mom, part one

Being a mom means:

-gratefully sending a quick email to find that the baby left you alone ONLY because he was playing in the toilet.
-wearing clothes covered with your children's bodily fluids and leftover food (Note: new clothes are a magnet for mommy stains).
-feeding yourself last, after everyone has asked at least four times for something else to go with their breakfast/lunch/dinner. OR eating 40 minutes before everyone (so like eating lunch right after breakfast is finished).
-it's all YOUR fault. It doesn't matter one bit if you don't know what it is, or what happened, OR if you were even present. If it went wrong for anyone at anytime in anyplace, it's your fault. Just accept it and move on.
-cleaning up the puke. Gag! Even when you're sick too.
-being given handmade gifts from kids who wait two seconds and ask for them back. Especially if it's food.
-your children know everything; you know nothing. That's why everything you say has the "I know" response.
-stopping what you are doing to go and pick up kids from school. Like right now. I gotta go get my daughter. I will post more later. Promise.

(the end of part one)

P.S. to the Barbie Mom post

The eyelash curling mom mentioned in the post below was seen exiting her vehicle this morning wearing sweats and a T-shirt and a sock hat! Hooray! There's hope for her! ;o)

Christmas Card Bragging

Please allow me a moment to TOTALLY BRAG!!! (I'm rolling my eyes because it's not that cool!)



For the last three years, I've gotten a Christmas card from Governor Huntsman and his family. The first year I got the card AND an invite to his Christmas party. The past two years I've only gotten a card. No party, so sad! :o(


I loved going to the Christmas party. It was a lot of fun. I have a picture of the hubby & I with the "guv." We even met Elder L. Tom Perry and his wife. Here's a picture of my picture! So special! ;oD


Last year I gave my card to my great Uncle Kent to tape to his fridge door in his teensy, tiny apartment. He loved it! Monday night I took a picture of this year's card and then gave him the original. He was so excited to show it off to all his home health care people who visit him.

So when you come to my house you won't see my 2008 card. For that you'll have to visit Uncle Kent. And if you think I am bragging, you should hear him!

The Beginning of my Christmas Spirit

Here is an update on my Christmas spirit or lack thereof.

Yesterday as the fluffy flakes of snow started falling, I drove two bags of blankets and coats to a nearby food pantry to donate. I had mellow Christmas music playing on my iPod and I actually felt a surging of the warm Christmas feelings that I have been missing. Maybe it was the snow, maybe it was doing something good for people in need-- I'm not sure. But it felt good.

Last week, driving home from friends, the kids & I looked at all the Christmas lights on the houses we passed. Christmas music was playing and the kids were having fun counting the houses. I felt a bit of excitement for Christmas to come.

I suppose I've just grown up too much. Or maybe I've objectified the whole holiday into a massive "To Do" list. But now my Christmas tree is up (and baby proofed) and the boxes are put away and I don't have bags of stuff to donate piling up near my couch. And last night, after all the kids were in bed, I sat in my rocking chair and read a book by the light of the Christmas trees. I loved it.

Two weeks and two days until Christmas. I'm growing excited because I know my kids will LOVE what Santa brings them. I'm growing excited because I will see lots of family. I'm excited because I know what I'm getting for Christmas (rhymes with pie-pod and replaces mine which is on life support!). I'm just getting excited.

Phew! I was worried I'd end up being a Grinch this year. Maybe it was the snow that pushed me over the edge-- though I kinda doubt that seeing as how I shoveled TWO driveways yesterday.

Here's a picture of my Christmas tree: it's just the top part (missing bottom two rows) and is tied into the playpen and the whole tree is tied to the curtain rod to keep it from falling over. We'll see if my little Mister can take it down (keeping my fingers crossed he won't). Plus I love making the presents visible but not accessible!

The Curse of the Barbie Moms

It happens every year-- there's a mom who shows up to drop of her kids perfectly poised, dressed, made up, fully accessorized, and stunningly beautiful.

All at 8:30 am.

What's with these women??? ;o)

Since my days of taking a child to school, there's always been at least one mom who shamed the rest of us-- even when we were going to work too! In preschool it was the mom whose outfits nicely displayed her collection of jeweled back thongs...cough....I often wondered what profession allowed those....? (not going there!!!) In kindergarten, there was the mom, every morning, who looked like she was going next to a modeling shoot. In the first & second there have always been the handful of beautifully-dressed moms along with moms who were perfectly coordinated in name-brand "workout" outfits (ha, ha! Off to gym now that the darlings are in school!). While the rest of us showed up in our sweats, pajama bottoms, lounge pants, bathrobes (never have personally done this one), and other "comfortable" attire.

It took me awhile before I got over the pangs of jealousy that would hit every time I pulled next to or stood next to a Barbie mom. Now, after four years of dropping off kids at 8:30 am, I'm content to be dressed! As long as it's clean.

So this morning I actually put on pants-- because my favorite "Mom" pants have a hole in the backside and are no longer fit to be worn in public-- and a sweatshirt over my shirt and under my coat-- partially because it is cold and partially to hide the fact that I was choosing to leave off that most uncomfortable and necessary female underwire accommodation. I also smoothed down my hair, licked my lips, wiped the crusties from my eyes and I was off!!

As I waited for the kids to go into class, I noticed the lady sitting in the car next to me using her eyelash curler. And I will admit that instead of a pang of jealousy, I snickered under my breath (so rude of me!!) and watched her discreetly from the corner of my eye as she freshened her makeup and reapplied her lipstick. She then exited her $40,000 vehicle wearing a nice designer outfit.

Poor thing, I thought, she's just not comfortable coming in pjs. So sad! Maybe by third grade!

But, just in case, I wiped the corners of my lips again....

Running from Motherhood

I found a quote that pretty much sums up what motherhood feels like: (from a book written about a mom taking care of her family and her ailing mother)

"I pray to be patient, to have the strength to unpack, be a mom, and a wife, take care of my mother, and make sure everyone gets enough of me, enough care and attention to flourish. Sometimes I imagine I'm a giant milkshake and my family is all sitting around me at some fifties diner. Each of them has a straw and sucks it, red in the face. They grab the glass and tilt it their way, hitting the side with their palm, snatching it from each other to make sure nothing's left."

From Mothering Mother by Carol D. O'dell

Do you ever feel like that? Like your family wants to suck you dry and you wonder how you'll ever meet their needs when they seem like miniature (or not so miniature) black holes?

I was feeling like that this morning after my hubby left for an out-of-town, overnight work trip. I was feeling rather drained and tired and knowing full well that him being gone means that I'm the 24/7 shift of motherhood with the only breaks coming because I'm lucky enough to send two of the kids to school! I didn't know if I could handle it all, but life (and being a mom) REQUIRES that I handle it.

So I did the only thing I could think of-- I ran away. I put the baby in the playpen and ran on my treadmill for a blessed half hour. Except it wasn't really "blessed" because the baby/toddler cried for the last 20 minutes and it's been oh about 3 weeks since I ran last.

But it felt good. And then one of my songs came on with these words:
"Welcome to your life. There's no turning back...."

Nice, I thought. The song is "Everybody wants to rule the World" by Tears for Fears. That song pretty much sums up this house: everybody wants to rule the house; everyone wants to be the center of attention and get their needs --- and ALL their needs-- met first. It's like a giant pecking order mixed with a game of musical chairs. The "Boss" is always changing depending on who is currently screaming, melting down, most dramatic, or somehow commanding the attention of everyone else.

And then at the bottom of that heap is the mom-- trying to play referee, cook, chauffer, time management specialist, and ___fill-in-the-blank for a 1,000 other roles_____. And sometimes she gets her needs met too, but usually only after she makes the time for them.

But after running, I feel stronger and more able to handle the nonstop demands of a young family. I can answer maybe 400 of the 500 questions that will be thrown at me by my 5 year old and handle carrying around the baby/toddler for most of the day (don't ask, don't give advice on this! ;o) ), and handle the drama that comes with my soon-to-be-tweenie daughter.

I think I can handle it. AND I think we'll be eating Chinese food for dinner. That will definitely help me cope!

Alright-- on to lunch time! Tally ho!

You can take the girl out of Junior High, but you can't always take Junior High out of the girl

So here's a confession: I can be petty. I can be mean and jealous and act just like a 13-year-old junior high. Yeah, I try to overcome it and "get over it," but sometimes....

So I get this email today from someone who used to work with me on a committee. And she's got this brand new thing and this brand new website and this claim of inspiring "millions of people" and on and on.

So this me: (eyes rolling) "Come on, what about her kids? I mean, seriously, she should have her priorities straight!" (more eyes rolling). Cue slight groan from internal grown-up--- So then I think (through clenched teeth): "well, isn't that nice" (emphasis on "nice" that sounds more like "gross" in my head).

So she has more kids than me (don't feel bad there!), she has a successful business, she has many media interviews, she has a cooler website and a blog and a ton of published books including an idea for a kids series that I had but she beat me too it! and .....

Oh yeah? Well, I (cough) used to do media interviews. And I have kids (want one?) and I have a non-profit organization with TWENTY dollars in the account! So there! Naw!

So that didn't make me feel better. So I try a different approach---

(horns trumpeting "duh-duh-dun" as I climb aboard my great and noble white horse --oh, and cue the sappy music) I gave up the super-powered media career and book promoting to focus on my family. That's what's MOST important in the eternal scheme.

Go ahead and gag. I did.

Let's face it. We all have that pettiness gene. The gene that made a former friend of mine TOTALLY stab me in the back and say grossly inaccurate and unfair things about me to another committee and then come to MY committee with a happy, nice face on pretending that we were still best buds, and I mean, Come on, I'm not an idiot that was born yesterday and don't give me that garbage because I know what she did! DUH!! But really, I'm over that. It doesn't even bother me any more! Hardly even think about it.

So anyways, where was I???

Oh yeah, we all have a gene that makes it hard for us to "just get along" with our female counterparts. And we instinctually feel jealous when it seems like someone else is getting a better goody bag than us. I'm afflicted it with it myself.

So with this glorious website, I did the best thing I know how: I closed the browser window, deleted the self-promoting email, and did what girls do best....

I blogged about it! Like, really, what else would I do?

Duh!!

:o)
Have a good, non-petty day!

Ho-ho-h.....hum, hmmmmm, ha! Hmmm. Sigh.

So it's now officially the Christmas season! And I should be so happy!!!!! REALLY!!

But I'm not. I have 99.5% of my Christmas shopping done-- I have even gone so far as to wrap HALF of those presents (kinda sick, huh? ;o) ) I listen to Christmas music; I have plans to set up my tree this weekend. I even changed the background border for my blogs!

But no Christmas spirit here!

I have family plans for Christmas; I'm organizing a service project for my family and one for some of my friends; I am even considering what to make for Christmas dinner.

But no real happy, excited, can't-wait-for-the-next-24-days-to-pass-because-I-am-SO-stinkin'-excited-for-Christmas feeling.

Hmmm.... nope. Not even close.

What gives?

Do I need more fake icicles? Is it because it was almost 60 degrees today and sunny? Have I made it too much of a "To Do List" exercise?

I don't know. Just not feeling the thrill.

Anybody else?