University of Phoenix rejected me!
Two years ago, before I got pregnant with my baby now, I applied for the UoPh Master's in Counseling program. The first class required you to show proficiency in three areas:
-writing
-public speaking
-listening skills
So I thought (and my "guidance counselor whole-heartedly agreed) that I would be fine. I had written a book, spoken to over 3,000 people, been chosen by the First Lady of the state to speak with her teen program, and had been told many, many times how easy I was to talk to.
Cake walk.
Uh......I didn't take into consideration the director of the program and a possible personality conflict.
I completed all the requirements, added my own flair to them, and sat back and waited for my easy acceptance into the program after the 6 week "dog and pony show" for the director.
Before the last requirement, a mock counseling session, I found out for the first time in 7 years I was pregnant and started to get really sick. I bombed the final exercise (and I really didn't care). A week later, I received a call from the director, let's call him Marvin.
Me: Hello?
Marvin: Sarah, this is Marvin, the director of the blah, blah, blah. How are you?
Me: (lying on the rocking chair feeling nasty) Fine.
Marvin: (long breath) Wellllll, Sarah, after looking at all of the requirements for our program, we just don't feel that you have what it takes to make it through.
Me: oh. okay.
Marvin: (very long pause) I'll admit that I'm a bit puzzled by your reaction, Sarah.
Me: well, Marvin, what do you want me to do? Cry? I don't know how I feel about this so I don't know how to respond.
Marvin: I'd be happy to sit down with you and go over your results to show you how you can do better.
Me: okay, fine.
Marvin: (long pause) You have my number?
Me: (brightly, just to tick him off) And I have your email too!
Marvin: ooooo kkkkkk, have a good day.
Me: Thanks.
It was a very odd conversation. I honestly felt like he expected me to fall apart or become angry. Or something! And I didn't and that threw him off.
My idea was that a master's degree would be like frosting on a cake-- an addition to my previous degree and experience. Marvin's idea was that he would make the cake first and then frost it. I didn't really go for that. He drew the box on the ground and told us how to dance (figuratively speaking, of course). I danced in my very own way, and I often got the impression that he didn't care for my individuality, and I made it clear that I didn't care that he didn't care. I wasn't flippant or snotty, but I insisted on doing things my own way.
That was not the "team player" mentality they were looking for.
Rejected.
I cried for about three minutes (I was pregnant, afterall) and then moved on. When I told my guidance counselor she was shocked! That made me felt better.
I don't regret not doing the program. Along the way I realized that I really didn't want to be a counselor anyways, but I was stubborn enough I would have enrolled had I been accepted. Their rejection came at the start of a tough pregnancy and I was grateful for the excuse to stop.
But I was rejected by the university who takes everyone! (just not for the counseling program).
Ah, such is life! ;o)
Friday, January 30, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Confession #2
A couple years ago I got fired by my counselor! Seriously!
Right before my abuse book came out I was having some anxieties and worries about the book and what it would do to my life and how to deal with making the abuse that I had hidden for so long being in the spotlight, and so I found a counselor.
We hit it off well and for the first, oh, say 2 months, we got along well. Never mind the fact that I was given 7 different diagnoses during the time I saw him, each one with more serious repercussions. By the time of my firing, he was doing his best to convince me I had a mental illness, and because I trusted him to be more knowledgeable than myself, I believed him.
I was beside myself with grief and shame and worry and confusion and... it was a hellish time in my life. I walked around thinking that all this time I had been mentally ill and no one had told me! And I-- who prides myself on being SO self-aware-- didn't even know it! The sky for me truly was falling. It was horrible! (just ask my hubby) I honestly debated having myself committed to an institution because I thought I might be that bad off.
Then came what would become our last session. He asked me what I thought was an extremely stupid question and I snapped at him: "You have the PhD in psychology! You tell me! "
That started the unraveling of our clinical relationship. I had tread on holy ground. I had questioned his knowledge and ability in psychology. I had insulted his PhD. He instantly bristled and told me he would NEVER allow disrespect. I was a bit baffled at what I had said that was SO disrespectful, but, still angry at him, I did not apologize. The session ended on a bad note, obviously.
The next week I showed up reluctantly. He was not happy to see me. After a few awkward minutes, he told me he'd need to refer me to someone else, that he couldn't continue to treat me as one of his patients. I told him I didn't want his referral or a refund for my copay. I wanted out. And I slammed the door behind me (which felt good!).
I made it to the car before I began sobbing. He had helped me see that I was mentally ill and now he was firing me! How could I function? How would I get better? How could I go on in my poor, misguided life???......
And then a funny thing happened. I calmed down. And I realized that I felt better. For the first time in months, I felt like a good, normal person. The more time passed, the better I felt. I felt better and better until I finally realized that him firing me was one of the best things he had ever done to treat me. His diagnoses were full of bunk, and he could keep them.
It reminds me of that scene on "What about Bob?" -- is this some kind of new death therapy?? he asks when his psychotic doctor is strapping him with dynamite.
It was a new therapy. It helped me realize that I am not THAT screwed up. I am not mentally ill. And I did not need a therapist to help me to be happy.
I wrote him a note and told him that firing me was the best thing he had ever done for me and that I wished he had done it three weeks sooner. I don't think he liked that letter much. That was 2 1/2 years ago.
I ran into him at a meeting a couple weeks ago; it was the first time I had seen him since I stormed out of his office. I'll admit that I smirked through the whole thing. I didn't talk to him or make eye contact with him, but I smirked in his general direction. That felt good! :o) And I think I rolled my eyes a lot.
So there's my second confession-- I was fired by my counselor and I lived to tell about it (in a semi-functional, human-type manner). Counselors need a warning attached-- May be hazardous to your emotional health! They aren't all bad, but use caution and common sense. There are a great many problems and difficulties you can work out if you believe that you can. And, seriously, isn't that why we have Dr. Phil and Oprah??? (just kidding!)
Coming next-- my biggest, most ridiculous, rejection. And funny enough, it had to do with another man who had a PhD in psychology. Sheesh! I should come with a warning! ;oD
Right before my abuse book came out I was having some anxieties and worries about the book and what it would do to my life and how to deal with making the abuse that I had hidden for so long being in the spotlight, and so I found a counselor.
We hit it off well and for the first, oh, say 2 months, we got along well. Never mind the fact that I was given 7 different diagnoses during the time I saw him, each one with more serious repercussions. By the time of my firing, he was doing his best to convince me I had a mental illness, and because I trusted him to be more knowledgeable than myself, I believed him.
I was beside myself with grief and shame and worry and confusion and... it was a hellish time in my life. I walked around thinking that all this time I had been mentally ill and no one had told me! And I-- who prides myself on being SO self-aware-- didn't even know it! The sky for me truly was falling. It was horrible! (just ask my hubby) I honestly debated having myself committed to an institution because I thought I might be that bad off.
Then came what would become our last session. He asked me what I thought was an extremely stupid question and I snapped at him: "You have the PhD in psychology! You tell me! "
That started the unraveling of our clinical relationship. I had tread on holy ground. I had questioned his knowledge and ability in psychology. I had insulted his PhD. He instantly bristled and told me he would NEVER allow disrespect. I was a bit baffled at what I had said that was SO disrespectful, but, still angry at him, I did not apologize. The session ended on a bad note, obviously.
The next week I showed up reluctantly. He was not happy to see me. After a few awkward minutes, he told me he'd need to refer me to someone else, that he couldn't continue to treat me as one of his patients. I told him I didn't want his referral or a refund for my copay. I wanted out. And I slammed the door behind me (which felt good!).
I made it to the car before I began sobbing. He had helped me see that I was mentally ill and now he was firing me! How could I function? How would I get better? How could I go on in my poor, misguided life???......
And then a funny thing happened. I calmed down. And I realized that I felt better. For the first time in months, I felt like a good, normal person. The more time passed, the better I felt. I felt better and better until I finally realized that him firing me was one of the best things he had ever done to treat me. His diagnoses were full of bunk, and he could keep them.
It reminds me of that scene on "What about Bob?" -- is this some kind of new death therapy?? he asks when his psychotic doctor is strapping him with dynamite.
It was a new therapy. It helped me realize that I am not THAT screwed up. I am not mentally ill. And I did not need a therapist to help me to be happy.
I wrote him a note and told him that firing me was the best thing he had ever done for me and that I wished he had done it three weeks sooner. I don't think he liked that letter much. That was 2 1/2 years ago.
I ran into him at a meeting a couple weeks ago; it was the first time I had seen him since I stormed out of his office. I'll admit that I smirked through the whole thing. I didn't talk to him or make eye contact with him, but I smirked in his general direction. That felt good! :o) And I think I rolled my eyes a lot.
So there's my second confession-- I was fired by my counselor and I lived to tell about it (in a semi-functional, human-type manner). Counselors need a warning attached-- May be hazardous to your emotional health! They aren't all bad, but use caution and common sense. There are a great many problems and difficulties you can work out if you believe that you can. And, seriously, isn't that why we have Dr. Phil and Oprah??? (just kidding!)
Coming next-- my biggest, most ridiculous, rejection. And funny enough, it had to do with another man who had a PhD in psychology. Sheesh! I should come with a warning! ;oD
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Confession #1
It's quiet time at my house. The baby is sleeping, the 5 year old is resting, and I should be making productive use of this break, right?
Wrong.
I just finished another book (finished one last night) and think I'll start another.
My dishes aren't done, my floors aren't clean, my bills aren't paid, I have NO earthly idea what to make for dinner....
On a plus side, I did eat lunch AND shower today and changed my underwear without being asked. So I feel like I should celebrate those small successes and go sit back down in my rocking chair and read another book until the baby wakes up or it's time to go get my daughter from school.
And you know, I hardly even feel guilty about it....
where's some chocolate? That will make it ALL good.
Toodles.
Wrong.
I just finished another book (finished one last night) and think I'll start another.
My dishes aren't done, my floors aren't clean, my bills aren't paid, I have NO earthly idea what to make for dinner....
On a plus side, I did eat lunch AND shower today and changed my underwear without being asked. So I feel like I should celebrate those small successes and go sit back down in my rocking chair and read another book until the baby wakes up or it's time to go get my daughter from school.
And you know, I hardly even feel guilty about it....
where's some chocolate? That will make it ALL good.
Toodles.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
SURPRISE!!! huh? surprise??? hmpf! bah humbug!
If you know me well, then you know I hate surprises. Really. They drive me crazy. I don't like them, I don't want them, I don't handle them well. I think it's a left-over "issue" from once being abused (at least that's my excuse because then people don't harass me about being a party-pooper. I'm not honestly sure why I hate them!) No surprises for me here.
Two weeks ago I went to yoga and my normal teacher, Ch, was not there. Instead we had a substitute-- a very nice, kind woman, named T (names abbreviated). And I found myself thinking, I hope she's not wimpy.
OY! She was brutal! No need to worry about that one. I hurt for days!
Last week I skipped yoga because I was lazy and tired from my fabulous weekend in San Diego.
Tonight I went and noticed that Ch wasn't there again, but that the studio director/owner was. Uh-oh. I mentioned something to a fellow classmate that looked familiar.
"Oh, Ch isn't here and won't be for awhile. C (the director) is taking her place."
Me-- WHAT?!? (internally, of course).
This was not good. I asked C if Ch was okay. And this was my mouth-hitting-the-floor response (internally again, of course) What??? Mommy!!!!
Outwardly: "well, OK, I'll have to give her a call."
I sat down on my mat and tried not to cry. Ch has been my yoga teacher for over a year. I even went to her classes when I was pregnant. And now she's gone.
I didn't have to worry about C being wimpy. She's a nightmare! ;o) She's soooo tough.
I tried to let go of my anguish over the change and loss of my familiar and embrace the new. It ended up being a good practice, but I am still heart-sick over Ch being gone. What will I do? Who will teach the class? What if I don't like her?
I DON'T want things to be different..... unless, of course, I want them to be. And then it is OK. (yeah, little bit of a control freak, I know).
I will be forever grateful to Ch and as soon as I find the note with her address & phone number on it, I will call her and tell her that I'm heartsick over her leaving.
But trying to put a more positive spin on this-- C had us focus on our intention or our goal for yoga and I made mine something Ch taught me:
RELAX into YOUR STRENGTH.
And it totally worked. Just when I thought I would die and not be able to hold the intense pose, I remembered to relax into it instead of fighting for it.
And it made all the difference.
Next time you need strength in your life, relax yourself into it. Ease into it. Don't gear up or tense up to it, relax.
Maybe you'll see strength in ways you didn't expect. I did tonight.
And I'll try relaxing into this new change.
Sigh. I will still miss Ch.
Ch, with my hands at my heart's center, I say: Namaste, dear friend. Namaste.
Two weeks ago I went to yoga and my normal teacher, Ch, was not there. Instead we had a substitute-- a very nice, kind woman, named T (names abbreviated). And I found myself thinking, I hope she's not wimpy.
OY! She was brutal! No need to worry about that one. I hurt for days!
Last week I skipped yoga because I was lazy and tired from my fabulous weekend in San Diego.
Tonight I went and noticed that Ch wasn't there again, but that the studio director/owner was. Uh-oh. I mentioned something to a fellow classmate that looked familiar.
"Oh, Ch isn't here and won't be for awhile. C (the director) is taking her place."
Me-- WHAT?!? (internally, of course).
This was not good. I asked C if Ch was okay. And this was my mouth-hitting-the-floor response (internally again, of course) What??? Mommy!!!!
Outwardly: "well, OK, I'll have to give her a call."
I sat down on my mat and tried not to cry. Ch has been my yoga teacher for over a year. I even went to her classes when I was pregnant. And now she's gone.
I didn't have to worry about C being wimpy. She's a nightmare! ;o) She's soooo tough.
I tried to let go of my anguish over the change and loss of my familiar and embrace the new. It ended up being a good practice, but I am still heart-sick over Ch being gone. What will I do? Who will teach the class? What if I don't like her?
I DON'T want things to be different..... unless, of course, I want them to be. And then it is OK. (yeah, little bit of a control freak, I know).
I will be forever grateful to Ch and as soon as I find the note with her address & phone number on it, I will call her and tell her that I'm heartsick over her leaving.
But trying to put a more positive spin on this-- C had us focus on our intention or our goal for yoga and I made mine something Ch taught me:
RELAX into YOUR STRENGTH.
And it totally worked. Just when I thought I would die and not be able to hold the intense pose, I remembered to relax into it instead of fighting for it.
And it made all the difference.
Next time you need strength in your life, relax yourself into it. Ease into it. Don't gear up or tense up to it, relax.
Maybe you'll see strength in ways you didn't expect. I did tonight.
And I'll try relaxing into this new change.
Sigh. I will still miss Ch.
Ch, with my hands at my heart's center, I say: Namaste, dear friend. Namaste.
Friday, January 23, 2009
100!! ONE HUNDRED!! one hundred! 100 Posts!
In honor of my 100th post, here is a list of 100 things that I LOVE!! (and in no particular order!)
1- my hubby
2- my kids
3- my ward
4- my God
5- my Savior
6- my iPod
7- rain that is clearing out the air here
8- my laptop
9- you! My blog readers!!
10- gummi worms
11- Pepsi
12- my animals-- all 7 of them
13- chickens as pets
14- iTunes
15- KLUV Christian radio, 89.7 in SLC
16- running
17- my Running playlist
18- my treadmill so I can run inside
19- my bed, pillow, and Pooh bear blanket
20- tylenol for grouchy babies
21- my migraine doctor
22- Panda Express' orange chicken
23- Panda Express' mandarin chicken
24- SoBe Lean cranberry grapefruit drink
25- Spring! with flowers and green grass
26- Michael's craft store's $1 bins
27- Mary Englebreit cards
28- clearance sales
29- Deseret Industries
30- my friends across the nation
31- reading good books
32- sunshine through my windows
33- birds-- ALL kinds of birds!
34- Friday lunch dates
35- Weekend date nights
36- Cracker Barrel
37- Bountiful's library
38- the Library's online system
39- Amazon.com
40- "Cake Wrecks" blog
41- taking pictures of beautiful things
42- yams
43- Nicole Nordemann CDs
44- Annie Lennox CDs
45- American Idol, season 8
46- the new Am. Idol judge, Kara-- fabulous addition!
47- my cellphone
48- taking a bath when I'm cold
49- writing just for fun
50- my doll cabinet
51- having a good calendar
52- my strong body
53- watching Nature shows on Sunday night
54- Baby Blues cartoons in the Sunday funnies
55- eating steak
56- NPR's Planet Money podcasts
57- coconut flavored ice cream
58- Kid to Kid stores
59- Living on the Edge by Chip Ingram podcasts
60- Walmart
61- this great country
62- Del Taco
63- coconut flavored snowcones
64- fresh peaches from my tree
65- garlic
66- walking my kids to school
67- Post-it Notes
68- Costco
69- every Pride & Prejudice movie I've seen
70- canning tomatoes from my garden
71- being able to vote
72- MyFamily.com's website
73- sweet potatoe fries
74- reading the blogs of friends
75- hummingbirds
76- Costco's berry smoothie in their food court
77- "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"
78- having a paid off minivan
79- the hope Americans feel right now because of Barak Obama
80- Lysol wipes
81- crocheting blankets while watching movies
82- puppets
83- reading the Jedi Quest books to my son
84- my full food storage room
85- almonds & pine nuts
86- clutter-free kitchen counters
87- birthdays
88- having a pet that sleeps for 6 months out of the year
89- Christmas
90- crossing things off my to-do list
91- cranberry juice
92- clean bathrooms
93- my hairdresser, Peggy
94- Hoops & YoYo from Hallmark.com
95- pink toenail polish
96- listening to talk radio
97- my bachelor's degree
98- hot chocolate
99- being honest
100- Life!
Thanks for reading through 100 posts! Love you! ;o)
Have a blessed day!
1- my hubby
2- my kids
3- my ward
4- my God
5- my Savior
6- my iPod
7- rain that is clearing out the air here
8- my laptop
9- you! My blog readers!!
10- gummi worms
11- Pepsi
12- my animals-- all 7 of them
13- chickens as pets
14- iTunes
15- KLUV Christian radio, 89.7 in SLC
16- running
17- my Running playlist
18- my treadmill so I can run inside
19- my bed, pillow, and Pooh bear blanket
20- tylenol for grouchy babies
21- my migraine doctor
22- Panda Express' orange chicken
23- Panda Express' mandarin chicken
24- SoBe Lean cranberry grapefruit drink
25- Spring! with flowers and green grass
26- Michael's craft store's $1 bins
27- Mary Englebreit cards
28- clearance sales
29- Deseret Industries
30- my friends across the nation
31- reading good books
32- sunshine through my windows
33- birds-- ALL kinds of birds!
34- Friday lunch dates
35- Weekend date nights
36- Cracker Barrel
37- Bountiful's library
38- the Library's online system
39- Amazon.com
40- "Cake Wrecks" blog
41- taking pictures of beautiful things
42- yams
43- Nicole Nordemann CDs
44- Annie Lennox CDs
45- American Idol, season 8
46- the new Am. Idol judge, Kara-- fabulous addition!
47- my cellphone
48- taking a bath when I'm cold
49- writing just for fun
50- my doll cabinet
51- having a good calendar
52- my strong body
53- watching Nature shows on Sunday night
54- Baby Blues cartoons in the Sunday funnies
55- eating steak
56- NPR's Planet Money podcasts
57- coconut flavored ice cream
58- Kid to Kid stores
59- Living on the Edge by Chip Ingram podcasts
60- Walmart
61- this great country
62- Del Taco
63- coconut flavored snowcones
64- fresh peaches from my tree
65- garlic
66- walking my kids to school
67- Post-it Notes
68- Costco
69- every Pride & Prejudice movie I've seen
70- canning tomatoes from my garden
71- being able to vote
72- MyFamily.com's website
73- sweet potatoe fries
74- reading the blogs of friends
75- hummingbirds
76- Costco's berry smoothie in their food court
77- "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"
78- having a paid off minivan
79- the hope Americans feel right now because of Barak Obama
80- Lysol wipes
81- crocheting blankets while watching movies
82- puppets
83- reading the Jedi Quest books to my son
84- my full food storage room
85- almonds & pine nuts
86- clutter-free kitchen counters
87- birthdays
88- having a pet that sleeps for 6 months out of the year
89- Christmas
90- crossing things off my to-do list
91- cranberry juice
92- clean bathrooms
93- my hairdresser, Peggy
94- Hoops & YoYo from Hallmark.com
95- pink toenail polish
96- listening to talk radio
97- my bachelor's degree
98- hot chocolate
99- being honest
100- Life!
Thanks for reading through 100 posts! Love you! ;o)
Have a blessed day!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
California Dreaming
I've had the song by the Mamas & the Papas running through my head on this gray, inversioned, hazy, smoggy, cold, foggy winter day. "California dreaming on such a winter day...."
Ah, I loved the warm air and clear blue skies of Southern California. I miss it! I would gladly trade this horrid air (Salt Lake has the worst air in the nation currently) for the blueness of San Diego. Aaaaahhhhh!
I had some observations about So. Cal while I was there that I wanted to share.
There are many plastic-y people in So. Cal. There was one lady at P.F. Changs who was so...how shall I say this?... Barbie-like. I couldn't even guess her original age. She looked stretched and tweased and plucked and tucked. Her cheekbones had to have been inserts-- they looked so perfectly even and ideally placed and incredibly fake. I felt bad for her, even with her designer clothes and coordinating handbag. I saw other women who were also "enhanced," shall we say? Stick thin and ginormous on top. Oh! And tan. Very, evenly tan.
There is nothing wrong with looking good. In truth, I hope all of you dear readers feel good and look good most of the time. Sure, we can all have bad hair days. And pimple days (how about a pimple week? Yep, raising my hand. Having one!) But to go to the lengths that some of the women I saw go to. I felt bad for them. Their body is their enemy.
How can you be at peace when you are constantly at war with your body?
You can't be. It's impossible.
Yes, we can improve and expand and change and beautify, like we do our yards or our houses. But is perfection the end result? Is that the main focus? For some, it is. And it is never possible to look eternally young and beautiful and pimple/wrinkle-free. It can become an obsession. And, for me, the moment that it crosses the line into obsession is the moment it becomes a serious problem and health hazard. Our bodies are amazing and need to be treated with love and respect and allowed to function in their God-appointed ways. Always.
OK, enough of that soap box.
Another thought I had-- Southern Californians drive like crazy monkeys! Whoa! And my dear brothers are among them! Yikes! I'll stick to my hick ways and drive slowly. In the right lane! ;o)
By way of another update-- I am almost to my 100th post! Yippee! I will have to think of something cool for #100. So exciting. Just be waiting!
Ah, I loved the warm air and clear blue skies of Southern California. I miss it! I would gladly trade this horrid air (Salt Lake has the worst air in the nation currently) for the blueness of San Diego. Aaaaahhhhh!
I had some observations about So. Cal while I was there that I wanted to share.
There are many plastic-y people in So. Cal. There was one lady at P.F. Changs who was so...how shall I say this?... Barbie-like. I couldn't even guess her original age. She looked stretched and tweased and plucked and tucked. Her cheekbones had to have been inserts-- they looked so perfectly even and ideally placed and incredibly fake. I felt bad for her, even with her designer clothes and coordinating handbag. I saw other women who were also "enhanced," shall we say? Stick thin and ginormous on top. Oh! And tan. Very, evenly tan.
There is nothing wrong with looking good. In truth, I hope all of you dear readers feel good and look good most of the time. Sure, we can all have bad hair days. And pimple days (how about a pimple week? Yep, raising my hand. Having one!) But to go to the lengths that some of the women I saw go to. I felt bad for them. Their body is their enemy.
How can you be at peace when you are constantly at war with your body?
You can't be. It's impossible.
Yes, we can improve and expand and change and beautify, like we do our yards or our houses. But is perfection the end result? Is that the main focus? For some, it is. And it is never possible to look eternally young and beautiful and pimple/wrinkle-free. It can become an obsession. And, for me, the moment that it crosses the line into obsession is the moment it becomes a serious problem and health hazard. Our bodies are amazing and need to be treated with love and respect and allowed to function in their God-appointed ways. Always.
OK, enough of that soap box.
Another thought I had-- Southern Californians drive like crazy monkeys! Whoa! And my dear brothers are among them! Yikes! I'll stick to my hick ways and drive slowly. In the right lane! ;o)
By way of another update-- I am almost to my 100th post! Yippee! I will have to think of something cool for #100. So exciting. Just be waiting!
Israeli Update
I've still been studying about the Israeli/Palestinian conflict and I just recently read that Israeli troops have pulled completely out of the Gaza strip. A UN chief who visited the shelled areas of Gaza said the damage was horrifying. There were over 1500 Palestinian civilians killed during the Israeli strikes in the past month and only13 Israeli civilians killed.
The conflict between these two nations has been occurring for many years, with most of the intense fighting happening since the late 1940's when Great Britain pulled out of Israel altogether. This current conflict reminds of what happens when a caged wild animal attacks its caretaker and both are injured or killed. Who can be blamed? The wild animal for striking out? The caretaker for holding it captive? It is a tragedy on both sides.
Israel, while not perfect, has gotten a bad rap, and I must admit that the statistics are damning. 1500 deaths versus 13. Who appears to be the bully? The issue that isn't often addressed-- especially with the anti-Israel rhetoric that is so prevalent right now in mainstream American media-- is that the Hamas army specifically chose to embed themselves and their weapons in high civilian areas. They were not like Israel and other civilized armies who set themselves largely apart from their people; they specifically chose populated areas so that when Israel retaliated there would be a large number of civilian casualties. And guess who then looks the bad guy?
Israel. Again, I don't hold them faultless, but I do wish more Americans realized that Hamas is determined to harass Israel and at any cost to Palestianians who might happen to get in the way of the counterattacks.
I don't expect the ceasefire to hold long. Hamas has consistently shown that it is uncapable of upholding their end of the agreements. Their only objective is to wipe the largely Jewish state of Israel off the map and replace it with an Arabic nation. Unfortunately, Israel is not the Jewish state it once was. There are large concentrations of Christians, Catholics, Armenians, and other ethnicities who also would be "wiped out."
There must be a solution to this decade-old conflict, but it will not be achieved as long as either side is supporting in any way, shape, or form the idea of ethnic cleansing.
The conflict between these two nations has been occurring for many years, with most of the intense fighting happening since the late 1940's when Great Britain pulled out of Israel altogether. This current conflict reminds of what happens when a caged wild animal attacks its caretaker and both are injured or killed. Who can be blamed? The wild animal for striking out? The caretaker for holding it captive? It is a tragedy on both sides.
Israel, while not perfect, has gotten a bad rap, and I must admit that the statistics are damning. 1500 deaths versus 13. Who appears to be the bully? The issue that isn't often addressed-- especially with the anti-Israel rhetoric that is so prevalent right now in mainstream American media-- is that the Hamas army specifically chose to embed themselves and their weapons in high civilian areas. They were not like Israel and other civilized armies who set themselves largely apart from their people; they specifically chose populated areas so that when Israel retaliated there would be a large number of civilian casualties. And guess who then looks the bad guy?
Israel. Again, I don't hold them faultless, but I do wish more Americans realized that Hamas is determined to harass Israel and at any cost to Palestianians who might happen to get in the way of the counterattacks.
I don't expect the ceasefire to hold long. Hamas has consistently shown that it is uncapable of upholding their end of the agreements. Their only objective is to wipe the largely Jewish state of Israel off the map and replace it with an Arabic nation. Unfortunately, Israel is not the Jewish state it once was. There are large concentrations of Christians, Catholics, Armenians, and other ethnicities who also would be "wiped out."
There must be a solution to this decade-old conflict, but it will not be achieved as long as either side is supporting in any way, shape, or form the idea of ethnic cleansing.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Running Update
I spent most of last year (2008) combating terrible migraines and finally got into to see the top migraine doctor in Utah last November. She is FANTASTIC! And has helped me get my migraines down from 4 to 6 a week to 1 every other week. I've switched my medicine, altered my diet (Onions are out, but, hallelujah!, I can have mustard and mayo again), and changed some aspects of my lifestyle.
One of her recommendations was to change the way I exercise by shortening it down to 30 minutes or less. Well, that affected the way I was running. In order to get my distances up, I had to run longer times-- sometimes up to an hour of running. Shortening my running to a half hour (give or take 5 minutes) was a challenge. If I couldn't adjust the time, then I would have to adjust how fast I ran. So my first time back on the treadmill this year, I bumped my speed up to 4.0 miles an hour and managed to get run a mile and a half in about 35 minutes. Then I started adding a sprint at the end of my run by bumping the mileage up to 4.5 mph. I loved running faster because it felt like I was flying-- but I couldn't run for very long without getting totally winded. I've increased the length that I've sprinted and today I got up to a full mile at the 4.5 mph speed.
Boy, was I tired! But now I think I'll try to run the full 1.5 miles at 4.5 mph for a week or two and then add on a 5.0 mph sprint. Maybe if I can get used to running faster then I can add more distance onto my runs without adding more time (and going over 35 minutes).
So I've added a running log at the side of my blog so I can keep track of my progress. And maybe brag a wee bit. For those of you who aren't into running (or exercise) I hope maybe I can help inspire you just a wee bit to do something healthy for your body. Appropriate exercise is a great self-esteem boost! Promise! And I'm not just saying that because I'm (as some of you would say) "tiny." I feel so much better when I do something physical. When I don't exercise I hurt and I'm tired and I get more tired and I hurt more-- it's a vicious cycle!
OK, I'm done with my bit of preaching. Thanks for letting me share my running with you. It's a great motivation to keep going-- that whole accountability issue that President Obama talked about during his inaugural address applies here, and I bet you didn't even know it! ;o)
Have a happy, healthy day!
p.s. I found some fabulous new songs to add to my iPod's "Running Playlist" that I also added to the side over there. I love the Newsboys! They are great! And the messages they sing about while I run help to keep me going when I'm wiped out.
One of her recommendations was to change the way I exercise by shortening it down to 30 minutes or less. Well, that affected the way I was running. In order to get my distances up, I had to run longer times-- sometimes up to an hour of running. Shortening my running to a half hour (give or take 5 minutes) was a challenge. If I couldn't adjust the time, then I would have to adjust how fast I ran. So my first time back on the treadmill this year, I bumped my speed up to 4.0 miles an hour and managed to get run a mile and a half in about 35 minutes. Then I started adding a sprint at the end of my run by bumping the mileage up to 4.5 mph. I loved running faster because it felt like I was flying-- but I couldn't run for very long without getting totally winded. I've increased the length that I've sprinted and today I got up to a full mile at the 4.5 mph speed.
Boy, was I tired! But now I think I'll try to run the full 1.5 miles at 4.5 mph for a week or two and then add on a 5.0 mph sprint. Maybe if I can get used to running faster then I can add more distance onto my runs without adding more time (and going over 35 minutes).
So I've added a running log at the side of my blog so I can keep track of my progress. And maybe brag a wee bit. For those of you who aren't into running (or exercise) I hope maybe I can help inspire you just a wee bit to do something healthy for your body. Appropriate exercise is a great self-esteem boost! Promise! And I'm not just saying that because I'm (as some of you would say) "tiny." I feel so much better when I do something physical. When I don't exercise I hurt and I'm tired and I get more tired and I hurt more-- it's a vicious cycle!
OK, I'm done with my bit of preaching. Thanks for letting me share my running with you. It's a great motivation to keep going-- that whole accountability issue that President Obama talked about during his inaugural address applies here, and I bet you didn't even know it! ;o)
Have a happy, healthy day!
p.s. I found some fabulous new songs to add to my iPod's "Running Playlist" that I also added to the side over there. I love the Newsboys! They are great! And the messages they sing about while I run help to keep me going when I'm wiped out.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Peanut Butter Recall expands Nationwide
As much as I hate to detract from the better post below, I felt like posting this today because this national news just hit home. I got an automated call from Costco a bit ago telling me about Keebler & Austin brand peanut butter crackers and cookies that are being recalled because of possible salmonella contamination. They are sold at Costco. It so happens that I have a box of Austin brand peanut butter crackers in my cupboard that I bought at Walmart last week! Yikes!
I also read online that Little Debbie brand snacks with peanut butter are being recalled as a precaution-- they have 16 different products that are being recalled.
So the safe bet for all of us and our kids is to first, do our research and second, pull the peanut butter crackers off our shelves for awhile. I'll take my box back to Walmart for my $1.88 refund. I would recommend that you do the same. Better to be safe than sick!
Here is a MSNBC list of recalled Keebler & Austin products:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28719699/
Also here is a link on the additional Little Debbie recall:
http://www.ksl.com/?nid=172&sid=5359118
I also read online that Little Debbie brand snacks with peanut butter are being recalled as a precaution-- they have 16 different products that are being recalled.
So the safe bet for all of us and our kids is to first, do our research and second, pull the peanut butter crackers off our shelves for awhile. I'll take my box back to Walmart for my $1.88 refund. I would recommend that you do the same. Better to be safe than sick!
Here is a MSNBC list of recalled Keebler & Austin products:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28719699/
Also here is a link on the additional Little Debbie recall:
http://www.ksl.com/?nid=172&sid=5359118
An Incredible & Historic Day
As I quickly type this post, I am listening to President Barak Obama's inauguration speech on the radio. What an amazing day! To have an African American president sworn in the day after we honor the life & birthday of Martin Luther King, a man who gave his life to help make ALL men equal. What a fitting tribute to the historic change for our country.
I loved it when he said it's not whether the government is too big or too small, but is it working for America. He said where it is working we will move forward and where it is not, it will be fixed.
Fantastic! I pray for the safety of himself and his family, and I pray that his presidency will move Americans together and foward through these difficult times. His speech is impressive and I am touched by it. I greatly hope that the words will come true and that our country will unite behind him. That is my prayer for today. No more focus on black, white, Republican, Democrat, conservative, liberal, but AMERICANS.
GOD BLESS AMERICA!!! Land that I love!
I loved it when he said it's not whether the government is too big or too small, but is it working for America. He said where it is working we will move forward and where it is not, it will be fixed.
Fantastic! I pray for the safety of himself and his family, and I pray that his presidency will move Americans together and foward through these difficult times. His speech is impressive and I am touched by it. I greatly hope that the words will come true and that our country will unite behind him. That is my prayer for today. No more focus on black, white, Republican, Democrat, conservative, liberal, but AMERICANS.
GOD BLESS AMERICA!!! Land that I love!
Monday, January 19, 2009
Absolutely AMAZING!
I loved my trip to San Diego. It was the most incredible vacation I have had for years! I was so much at peace with my trip. I didn't worry about my family at home or my kids or my animals. I just enjoyed each moment. I kept saying-- enjoy the moment. We had an incredible time. I don't even have the ability to say more than that right now! Amazing! Awesome! You can see the trip below through my pictures.
This one picture though is my favorite-- this was the reason for the trip, this is the single biggest factor in the awesomeness of the trip--
This is my family:
I love them more now than I ever have. What a perfect, heaven-like weekend.
This one picture though is my favorite-- this was the reason for the trip, this is the single biggest factor in the awesomeness of the trip--
This is my family:
I love them more now than I ever have. What a perfect, heaven-like weekend.
The Best Parts of my Trip!
Taking pictures that are pretty! It's hard to take pics when I'm trying to keep track of little kids!
My favorite restaurant that pulled out of Utah and broke my heart. I wasn't ready to end that relationship. I didn't eat there when I was in LA. For now, it was enough for me to see that it is doing well and is happy. That was enough. For now.
Glorious! This was the first stop we made when we got off the airplane. Yum! There is NOTHING like an In-and-Out burger and fries.
At La Jolla beach we saw sea lions and dolphins in the ocean. These sea lions had come on shore to do some sleeping.
My favorite picture of my brother on the rocks at La Jolla beach.
My shadow-- yes, I am that tall in real life ! ;o)
A Dream Come True!
I have always wanted to watch the sun set over the ocean. And I got to do it in San Diego! Here are my pictures-- in sequence-- of my dream come true!
I noticed this couple taking pics on the beach at sunset and I thought it was SO beautiful that I took one for myself!
This is my favorite-- with the bird & the boat at sunset.
Aaaaahhhh! I loved it! It was warm and relaxing. I felt so much at peace. I wasn't worried about anything.
I noticed this couple taking pics on the beach at sunset and I thought it was SO beautiful that I took one for myself!
This is my favorite-- with the bird & the boat at sunset.
Aaaaahhhh! I loved it! It was warm and relaxing. I felt so much at peace. I wasn't worried about anything.
The Most Beautiful Castle-Like Temple in the World!
Love it! Enjoy the pictures of a beautiful temple on a beautiful day in beautiful San Diego!
Friday, January 16, 2009
Leaving on a Jet Plane
The time has come! I am flying out this afternoon with my sister for a weekend in San Diego where the weather is forecasted to be 80 degrees! Spending the weekend with my family is exciting. Planning an outing to the beach is fantastic! Leaving behind the crappy air and freezing temperatures is a thrill!
Leaving my family here.... that's tough!
I've been having a hard time at the prospect of leaving! I know it's only for two and a half days, but I'll miss them! I'll miss my baby/toddler and his happy smiles. I'll miss my son's hugs and his crazy questions. I'll miss my daughter's grouchiness and struggle to not smile when we laugh at her grouchiness. I'll miss my hubby! I'll miss my dog! And my other animals.
Already leaving-- and I haven't even left yet-- has made me appreciate my home. I'll be thrilled to go and I'll be thrilled to come back (but not to the bad air and ice!)
I think back to all the times when I saw planes taking up from the airport and thought I'd give anything to go with them if I could just escape for a wee bit! But those moments are short-lived. I want to be here with my family. I want to be a mom even with all the screaming and such.
So today give your kids an extra hug and be glad you're there. I know I will!
And I'll post pics when I get back. Oh! And I think I'll change my blog wallpaper! ;o) (if I can actually get on their site.... Their site is down. I'll keep trying)
Leaving my family here.... that's tough!
I've been having a hard time at the prospect of leaving! I know it's only for two and a half days, but I'll miss them! I'll miss my baby/toddler and his happy smiles. I'll miss my son's hugs and his crazy questions. I'll miss my daughter's grouchiness and struggle to not smile when we laugh at her grouchiness. I'll miss my hubby! I'll miss my dog! And my other animals.
Already leaving-- and I haven't even left yet-- has made me appreciate my home. I'll be thrilled to go and I'll be thrilled to come back (but not to the bad air and ice!)
I think back to all the times when I saw planes taking up from the airport and thought I'd give anything to go with them if I could just escape for a wee bit! But those moments are short-lived. I want to be here with my family. I want to be a mom even with all the screaming and such.
So today give your kids an extra hug and be glad you're there. I know I will!
And I'll post pics when I get back. Oh! And I think I'll change my blog wallpaper! ;o) (if I can actually get on their site.... Their site is down. I'll keep trying)
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
More Goals for 2009
-I am FINALLY going to finish the blanket I am crocheting for the local hospital's bereavement program. (I was 75% done with the second section when I realized that I dropped a stitch on the 8th row and had to undo ALL of it. Sigh! I won't crochet a baby blanket this big again.)
-I am going to brush my dog's teeth every week. Or at least every other week. But most definitely once a month. Really, I'll do better this year.
-I am going to brush my dog's teeth every week. Or at least every other week. But most definitely once a month. Really, I'll do better this year.
Being a Mom, part three
One more for the collection:
Being the mom means that lovely phrase you said/yelled at your children in anger gets repeated over and over again when they are playing by Barbie/Luke Skywalker/Mr. Potato Head and you wonder if you really sounded that bad.
Being the mom means that lovely phrase you said/yelled at your children in anger gets repeated over and over again when they are playing by Barbie/Luke Skywalker/Mr. Potato Head and you wonder if you really sounded that bad.
Ahhhh.... a P.S. to last night's post
I'm feeling much calmer today. It could be because there is sun pouring into my kitchen window. It could be because my kitchen (except the floor) is exceedingly clean. It could be that I slept well last night and tonight is my yoga class. It could be that I ate a bologna sandwich for lunch or that I finally got rid of a bunch of pictures on my camera or that I finally gave out my last Christmas present.
But my guess is that it's totally because of the "Relaxing" candle I have on my candle warmer. That must be the secret. Because really... sun in a clean kitchen can only carry you so far.... ;o)
But my guess is that it's totally because of the "Relaxing" candle I have on my candle warmer. That must be the secret. Because really... sun in a clean kitchen can only carry you so far.... ;o)
Monday, January 12, 2009
Baby Steps till April...Baby Steps till April
I find the need to blog right this moment to try to keep my cool. Perhaps it will help. Today is the first day of Spring Semester and it's also the first day of my hubby's new work schedule. Because he has a 3 hour class in the middle of the week, he has to work an extra hour three nights a week to make up the difference. So between his full-time job, his part-time job, his LAST (hooray) class for his PhD before he starts his dissertation, and Scouting, he's a bit busy right now, you know?
Pardon me while I scream: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Plus he's taking his board exams (MASSIVE exams before he can start his dissertation) this March which means in between all of the above mentioned busi-ness, he has to find time to do his homework AND studying for his exams.
Pardon me while I bawl: SSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBBBBBBB!!
Last Spring semester stunk. This Spring semester is shaping up to make it look like it's mild, bachelor-degree-seeking semester.
And of course tonight my sons are both very out of sorts. And I have to make dinner at the same time I am trying not to argue with the 5 year old and hold/entertain/pacify the toddler who refuses to be held/entertained/pacified. At least my daughter is grouchy enough to not speak to anyone right now. That's a plus, of sorts.
I'm trying all the self-talk: I can do hard things. I can do hard things. I can do hard things.
It's kinda helping. Mostly I'm just wondering how we'll survive- how my hubby will survive, how our family will survive, how our marriage will survive.
Baby steps till April...baby steps till April. Just grin and bear it. Just tie and knot and hold on. Just.....
Oh, at least American Idol starts tomorrow. That will help time go by quicker.
Pardon me while I scream: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Plus he's taking his board exams (MASSIVE exams before he can start his dissertation) this March which means in between all of the above mentioned busi-ness, he has to find time to do his homework AND studying for his exams.
Pardon me while I bawl: SSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBBBBBBB!!
Last Spring semester stunk. This Spring semester is shaping up to make it look like it's mild, bachelor-degree-seeking semester.
And of course tonight my sons are both very out of sorts. And I have to make dinner at the same time I am trying not to argue with the 5 year old and hold/entertain/pacify the toddler who refuses to be held/entertained/pacified. At least my daughter is grouchy enough to not speak to anyone right now. That's a plus, of sorts.
I'm trying all the self-talk: I can do hard things. I can do hard things. I can do hard things.
It's kinda helping. Mostly I'm just wondering how we'll survive- how my hubby will survive, how our family will survive, how our marriage will survive.
Baby steps till April...baby steps till April. Just grin and bear it. Just tie and knot and hold on. Just.....
Oh, at least American Idol starts tomorrow. That will help time go by quicker.
Current News-- My Opinion on the Israel/Gaza debate
When Israel started attacking Palestine a few weeks ago, I found myself wondering again what was really going on with that area, and so I started doing some research. (Side Note: my research was spurred on when I read that one of my favorite singers, Annie Lenox, was protesting in Europe against Israel's war. I really wanted to know what had been happening recently). Since this is a big topic in the news and a source for seemingly endless protests in the world, I thought I'd share with you some of my findings. And I'd like to hear your responses, if you have any you'd like to share.
-European Jews started moving into the Israeli area in the late 1800's about the same time Americans started moving in mass into the western portion of the US and Europeans started moving to Australia.
-Israel already contained many Jewish areas some of which had been there for thousands of years. In fact, history shows a continual Jewish presence in Israel since the beginning of recorded history.
-Israel has the oldest established democracy in the Middle East, and, until Iraq was freed, was the ONLY democracy there.
-Several weeks ago members of Hamas (the ruling political party in Palestine) began firing off homemade rockets into Israel.
-Because of the crude technology of these bombs, Hamas had no way of controlling the direction or landing of the rockets, and they often exploded in public places like elementary schools, hospitals, parks, etc.
-The rockets were always launched from crowded Palestinian areas like markets using fellow Palestinians as human shields-- guaranteeing that if Israel retaliated against the area where the rockets were launched there were sure to be mass civilian casualties.
-The Palestinian National Party Leader has condemned the Hamas attacks and requested them to stop firing rockets. Some Egyptian leaders have also condemned the attacks.
-Many in Europe have been calling for Israel to "attack in kind" meaning to not retaliate with their military force but to launch their own rockets back into Palestine and make the war "equal."
-Israel has gone to great lengths to warn Palestinian civilians to flee the areas that would be attacked by the Israeli army within days by radio broadcasts and dropping fliers. In every attack, they have attempted to lessen civilian deaths even though Hamas has entrenched itself in areas close to markets, schools, and hospitals.
-The last cease-fire agreement brokered by the US and offered to Hamas was flat out rejected even though most of their demands for land and sovereignity were met.
For whatever reason, none of these constant Hamas attacks on Israel were ever reported in mainstream American news. It wasn't until Israel decided to defend itself against the attacks and end the terror caused by them that the media started reported, and then Israel has been largely presented as an overhanded, oppressive regime. After the study that I've done so far-- and I'm far from done-- I fail to see evidence that Israel is guilty of the greatest wrong. I think they are justified in defending themselves and their citizens against a constant state of terror inflicted by Hamas. The whole area is volatile, and there is no easy solution! Most of the Arabic nations in the Middle East have a strong, vocal anti-Israel policy.
The more I study, the more difficult it is for me to have any sympathy with the ruling Palestinian party, but I feel immense sympathy for the everyday Palestinian people who are pawns in the war and have little protection from their government. While not perfect, Israel has demonstrated they are taking as much of the "moral high ground" as possible in this siege. Unfortunately, there are few in the mainstream media who are reporting that.
That's my opinion so far.
-European Jews started moving into the Israeli area in the late 1800's about the same time Americans started moving in mass into the western portion of the US and Europeans started moving to Australia.
-Israel already contained many Jewish areas some of which had been there for thousands of years. In fact, history shows a continual Jewish presence in Israel since the beginning of recorded history.
-Israel has the oldest established democracy in the Middle East, and, until Iraq was freed, was the ONLY democracy there.
-Several weeks ago members of Hamas (the ruling political party in Palestine) began firing off homemade rockets into Israel.
-Because of the crude technology of these bombs, Hamas had no way of controlling the direction or landing of the rockets, and they often exploded in public places like elementary schools, hospitals, parks, etc.
-The rockets were always launched from crowded Palestinian areas like markets using fellow Palestinians as human shields-- guaranteeing that if Israel retaliated against the area where the rockets were launched there were sure to be mass civilian casualties.
-The Palestinian National Party Leader has condemned the Hamas attacks and requested them to stop firing rockets. Some Egyptian leaders have also condemned the attacks.
-Many in Europe have been calling for Israel to "attack in kind" meaning to not retaliate with their military force but to launch their own rockets back into Palestine and make the war "equal."
-Israel has gone to great lengths to warn Palestinian civilians to flee the areas that would be attacked by the Israeli army within days by radio broadcasts and dropping fliers. In every attack, they have attempted to lessen civilian deaths even though Hamas has entrenched itself in areas close to markets, schools, and hospitals.
-The last cease-fire agreement brokered by the US and offered to Hamas was flat out rejected even though most of their demands for land and sovereignity were met.
For whatever reason, none of these constant Hamas attacks on Israel were ever reported in mainstream American news. It wasn't until Israel decided to defend itself against the attacks and end the terror caused by them that the media started reported, and then Israel has been largely presented as an overhanded, oppressive regime. After the study that I've done so far-- and I'm far from done-- I fail to see evidence that Israel is guilty of the greatest wrong. I think they are justified in defending themselves and their citizens against a constant state of terror inflicted by Hamas. The whole area is volatile, and there is no easy solution! Most of the Arabic nations in the Middle East have a strong, vocal anti-Israel policy.
The more I study, the more difficult it is for me to have any sympathy with the ruling Palestinian party, but I feel immense sympathy for the everyday Palestinian people who are pawns in the war and have little protection from their government. While not perfect, Israel has demonstrated they are taking as much of the "moral high ground" as possible in this siege. Unfortunately, there are few in the mainstream media who are reporting that.
That's my opinion so far.
Friday, January 9, 2009
A Dramatic Rise in Eating Disorders in Mothers
There's a horrifying rise in eating disorders-- anorexia, bulimia, compulsive exercising, overeating-- in young mothers in our country and especially in pregnant women. The pressure in our society to be thin and beautiful is taking a drastic toll on women, and mothers seem to be falling victim to the pressure faster than others.
Eating disorders have traditionally been a teen or young adult affliction. That's not to say older women never had them, but for the most part it afflicted the young. Those trends are changing at alarmingly fast rates. I've seen it around me-- mothers in my age group (mid-twenties to mid-thirties) with children who are scarily thin. I've always wondered how on earth they have children and yet are that twig-like. I think I found my answer, sad though it may be.
In the article I read and wrote about before, "The Return to Virtue," Elaine Dalton spoke of the obsession in our society. She wrote: "What could be more deceptive than to entice women, young and old, you and me, to be so involved in ourselves, our looks, our clothes, our body shape and size that we lose sight of our divine identity and our ability to change the world through our virtuous influence?" Women have incredible power to change and influence this world for better-- not just the world immediately around them, but the world at large. But we can't do that when we are constantly focused on whether or not our stomach is flat enough or if our thighs rub each other when we walk or if our outfit is trendy enough.
I'm not an expert on eating disorders. I've never personally had one, but I have been caught up before in the obsession to be thin enough. Even now sometimes I have to remind myself that running, for me, is a hobby and not a lifestyle. It can be a struggle to keep it in the proper perspective that exercise is important but should never come at the expense of my family and my health. There are days when I forget that I'm still a good person even if the extra skin stomach folds over the waistband of my jeans when I sit or that the lower part of arms flap when I wave. One day I was thinking how grateful I am to have a strong body and then an hour later (after looking in the mirror at my dimply bum & thighs) bemoan the fact that I have cellulite and feel ugly! It's a crazy world we live in. Women's bodies are never good enough. We're not thin enough, muscled enough, hairless enough, smell-less enough, white enough, etc. Body acceptance is not the dominant theme, is it? If your answer is not "No" then take a look at all the women's magazines at the grocery store check stand.
Here is some more information that I've found on eating disorders:
The best of them is a blog of a friend of a friend. She has great things to say on healthy exercise and eating disorders. Her blog address is: http://thegreatfitnessexperiment.blogspot.com/ I love her realistic perspective on weight, health, fads, etc. I recommend you add her to blog reading!
http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=5143284 A horrifying story on eating disorders in pregnant women! A must read if you are pregnant or know someone who is!
http://www.cnn.com/2006/HEALTH/diet.fitness/03/24/hb.adult.eating.disorders/index.html A CNN story on eating disorders in mothers. A must read if you're a woman! Check out their other articles listed on the left side of the screen.
If you have an eating disorder or know someone who does, GET HELP! There are SOOO many resources out there for you. You don't have to struggle in silence alone.
Eating disorders have traditionally been a teen or young adult affliction. That's not to say older women never had them, but for the most part it afflicted the young. Those trends are changing at alarmingly fast rates. I've seen it around me-- mothers in my age group (mid-twenties to mid-thirties) with children who are scarily thin. I've always wondered how on earth they have children and yet are that twig-like. I think I found my answer, sad though it may be.
In the article I read and wrote about before, "The Return to Virtue," Elaine Dalton spoke of the obsession in our society. She wrote: "What could be more deceptive than to entice women, young and old, you and me, to be so involved in ourselves, our looks, our clothes, our body shape and size that we lose sight of our divine identity and our ability to change the world through our virtuous influence?" Women have incredible power to change and influence this world for better-- not just the world immediately around them, but the world at large. But we can't do that when we are constantly focused on whether or not our stomach is flat enough or if our thighs rub each other when we walk or if our outfit is trendy enough.
I'm not an expert on eating disorders. I've never personally had one, but I have been caught up before in the obsession to be thin enough. Even now sometimes I have to remind myself that running, for me, is a hobby and not a lifestyle. It can be a struggle to keep it in the proper perspective that exercise is important but should never come at the expense of my family and my health. There are days when I forget that I'm still a good person even if the extra skin stomach folds over the waistband of my jeans when I sit or that the lower part of arms flap when I wave. One day I was thinking how grateful I am to have a strong body and then an hour later (after looking in the mirror at my dimply bum & thighs) bemoan the fact that I have cellulite and feel ugly! It's a crazy world we live in. Women's bodies are never good enough. We're not thin enough, muscled enough, hairless enough, smell-less enough, white enough, etc. Body acceptance is not the dominant theme, is it? If your answer is not "No" then take a look at all the women's magazines at the grocery store check stand.
Here is some more information that I've found on eating disorders:
The best of them is a blog of a friend of a friend. She has great things to say on healthy exercise and eating disorders. Her blog address is: http://thegreatfitnessexperiment.blogspot.com/ I love her realistic perspective on weight, health, fads, etc. I recommend you add her to blog reading!
http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=5143284 A horrifying story on eating disorders in pregnant women! A must read if you are pregnant or know someone who is!
http://www.cnn.com/2006/HEALTH/diet.fitness/03/24/hb.adult.eating.disorders/index.html A CNN story on eating disorders in mothers. A must read if you're a woman! Check out their other articles listed on the left side of the screen.
If you have an eating disorder or know someone who does, GET HELP! There are SOOO many resources out there for you. You don't have to struggle in silence alone.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
A Return to Virtue
I read an amazing article last night by Elaine S. Dalton called "A Return to Virtue." It was so eye-opening for me and already I'm finding myself making changes in my life to re-establish virtue as a major theme. Elaine discussed how our society has become so much more crass and coarse in the last decade and how socially accepted it's become to be crass-- language that used to be horrifying is now heard on the news, potty and sexual humor is rampant, no subject is considered delicate or special. She wrote: "Could it be that we have been slowly desensitized into thinking that high moral standards are old-fashioned and not relevant or important in today's society?"
I found myself thinking whether or not I wanted to be known as "virtuous" or "popular." I vote-- without question-- for the virtue. And I suppose I always would have always voted for that, but then I started thinking through all the things we have in our home that carry a double-standard-- that are not virtuous: TV programs and movies with language or actions or dress that we would never allow ourselves and especially our children to say, do, or wear; books with the foulest of language and behavior; music that I wouldn't let my kids listen to.
My conclusion was: I can do better.
Now please know that I'm not advocating a prudish or bubble-living, Amish-copying lifestyle. There is much that is good and funny and "virtuous" in our society. Also I'm not saying we need to self-righteously set ourselves up as better than others and peer down our noses in derision at those who choose to live differently. Elaine wrote: "Virtue 'is a pattern of thought and behavior based on high moral standards.' It encompasses chastity and moral purity. Virtue begins in the heart and the mind. It is nurtured in the home. It is the accumulation of thousands of small decisions and actions. Virtue is a word we don't hear often in today's society, but the Latin root word virtus means strength. Virtuous women and men possess a quiet dignity and inner strength." Doesn't that sound appealing? Dignified and strong?
Whatever happened to being a "lady"? Being refined and cultured and composed instead of being crass and brazen and outlandish? Really, is there anything wrong with being a lady? Without a question, there are many today who would argue YES. But I don't agree. There's something noble about being a lady. I want my daughter to grow up to be a lady. How will she learn that if my behavior isn't at all ladylike? She won't. She'll follow in the footsteps of her mother which is an eyeopener for me. Again, I think: I can do better.
So I'm making some improvements. Not anything drastic, but changes that will bring less that is crass and crude into my life and more that is refined and uplifting. It's a new year and a new chance to create dignity and strength in life.
I found myself thinking whether or not I wanted to be known as "virtuous" or "popular." I vote-- without question-- for the virtue. And I suppose I always would have always voted for that, but then I started thinking through all the things we have in our home that carry a double-standard-- that are not virtuous: TV programs and movies with language or actions or dress that we would never allow ourselves and especially our children to say, do, or wear; books with the foulest of language and behavior; music that I wouldn't let my kids listen to.
My conclusion was: I can do better.
Now please know that I'm not advocating a prudish or bubble-living, Amish-copying lifestyle. There is much that is good and funny and "virtuous" in our society. Also I'm not saying we need to self-righteously set ourselves up as better than others and peer down our noses in derision at those who choose to live differently. Elaine wrote: "Virtue 'is a pattern of thought and behavior based on high moral standards.' It encompasses chastity and moral purity. Virtue begins in the heart and the mind. It is nurtured in the home. It is the accumulation of thousands of small decisions and actions. Virtue is a word we don't hear often in today's society, but the Latin root word virtus means strength. Virtuous women and men possess a quiet dignity and inner strength." Doesn't that sound appealing? Dignified and strong?
Whatever happened to being a "lady"? Being refined and cultured and composed instead of being crass and brazen and outlandish? Really, is there anything wrong with being a lady? Without a question, there are many today who would argue YES. But I don't agree. There's something noble about being a lady. I want my daughter to grow up to be a lady. How will she learn that if my behavior isn't at all ladylike? She won't. She'll follow in the footsteps of her mother which is an eyeopener for me. Again, I think: I can do better.
So I'm making some improvements. Not anything drastic, but changes that will bring less that is crass and crude into my life and more that is refined and uplifting. It's a new year and a new chance to create dignity and strength in life.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Bird Tracks in the Snow
I found these little sets of prints in the snow on my front porch at dusk. It was very poetic, just like the chicken prints.
Woot Woot! One more week! One more week!
It's true! American Idol starts a week from tonight! I can't wait much longer. I mean, really, I've already waited since May. My daughter and I have watched American Idol for the last two years. We've supported "Chicken Little" (Kevin) and rooted on David Archuleta (my daughter has his poster on her wall!). I love American Idol. We watch it faithfully together. And when we can't watch it, I tape it (no TiVo here! :o( ) and we watch it the next day. And we vote, and vote, and vote, and vote for our favorites.
And it's starting up again next week! Hip, hip, hooray!
And it's starting up again next week! Hip, hip, hooray!
Friday, January 2, 2009
My Writing Goals for 2009
(I originally posted this on a writer's email group I belong to and it got NO response.....crickets chirped online for me. So I'm publishing it here so that at least someone will snicker, or laugh, or look semi-amused and flatter me into thinking that it really WAS funny and I don't have to worry that the writer's group now believes I'm some type of prima donna. Wait. Hmmm. Maybe I am a primadonna. But that doesn't mean they can't laugh! But they didn't. Maybe it was too much? I don't know.)
My ridiculously fantastical goals for 2009:
1- write the next mega-blockbuster seller for kids that is immediately optioned as a major motion picture but does not involve an underage wizard or a vampire in the main plot but an equally lovable and marketable character.
2- be invited to be the sole guest on Oprah and give out brilliant pithy comments on inspiring creative genius in children while sipping from a glass of water with a lemon wedge and wearing an outfit that actually was purchased at a mall store.
3- create such a desirable blog and corresponding website that I make almost as much from the advertising profits as I do from my mulit-mega book deals.
4- have so much money flowing in that I create an incredibly amazing Foundation and have brilliant authors calling to ask how to be half as generous.
Ah, to be that grand......
Now my goals firmly based/entrenched/ mired in reality for 2009:
1- finally find a publisher for my novel without selling my writer's soul to a shady publisher just for the sake of finally having it published and out of my life and desk.
2- write my children's nonfiction book on owning an endangered animal as a pet and find a decent-- no Good!-- publisher for it.
3- finish writing the second novel I started or finish writing the middle grade novel I started OR rewrite one of those picture books I started and mostly finished.
4- continue blogging in the hopes that I can prove Rick's dismal statistics on blog readership wrong (again) and have more than a handful of people (ie: one) reading it.
Silence again? Someone-- besides my mother-- please make a comment. (No offense, Mom).
My ridiculously fantastical goals for 2009:
1- write the next mega-blockbuster seller for kids that is immediately optioned as a major motion picture but does not involve an underage wizard or a vampire in the main plot but an equally lovable and marketable character.
2- be invited to be the sole guest on Oprah and give out brilliant pithy comments on inspiring creative genius in children while sipping from a glass of water with a lemon wedge and wearing an outfit that actually was purchased at a mall store.
3- create such a desirable blog and corresponding website that I make almost as much from the advertising profits as I do from my mulit-mega book deals.
4- have so much money flowing in that I create an incredibly amazing Foundation and have brilliant authors calling to ask how to be half as generous.
Ah, to be that grand......
Now my goals firmly based/entrenched/ mired in reality for 2009:
1- finally find a publisher for my novel without selling my writer's soul to a shady publisher just for the sake of finally having it published and out of my life and desk.
2- write my children's nonfiction book on owning an endangered animal as a pet and find a decent-- no Good!-- publisher for it.
3- finish writing the second novel I started or finish writing the middle grade novel I started OR rewrite one of those picture books I started and mostly finished.
4- continue blogging in the hopes that I can prove Rick's dismal statistics on blog readership wrong (again) and have more than a handful of people (ie: one) reading it.
Silence again? Someone-- besides my mother-- please make a comment. (No offense, Mom).
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Welcome to a NEW Year!
It's been a fabulous year so far! How about for you?
My day started after I slept into the indulgent hour of 8 am. I ate breakfast, took down ALL of the Christmas decorations and tree, ran a mile and a half on my treadmill at a higher speed than I've been doing, took a shower, and am now about to eat lunch.
Ahhhh, if only the rest of the year could be so good!
Since it's the new year, I've been thinking about some goals. I'm not into "Resolutions"-- I think those are failures in the making, but I have been thinking about what I want to accomplish this year. I thought I would take a moment to write some of them down here (in no particular order).
--I want to run another 5 K this spring.
--I want to go to the temple every month.
--I want to teach a writing class to teens in a correctional facility/youth home.
--I want to keep working on my blog (and hope YOU keep reading it).
--I want to finally find a publisher for my first novel (it's already at it's 4th publisher as we speak).
--I want to finish rewriting one of the other novels or middle grade books I've started.
--I want to finally start writing that book on women & friendship.
--I want to go to St. George to visit the Red Rocks Wildlife preserve and see their desert tortoises.
--I want to keep going to yoga once a week and running twice a week.
--I want to go to Southern California again. I might even take my family too! ;o)
--I want to keep writing for two columns in our community.
It's lunchtime and I need to go. I'll be adding more as I think of them.
Sarah
p.s. today's irony: listening to Louis Armstrong's "What a Wonderful World" while my 5 year old son screams in his bedroom while kicking his door with both feet as hard as he can. Aah, such is life.
My day started after I slept into the indulgent hour of 8 am. I ate breakfast, took down ALL of the Christmas decorations and tree, ran a mile and a half on my treadmill at a higher speed than I've been doing, took a shower, and am now about to eat lunch.
Ahhhh, if only the rest of the year could be so good!
Since it's the new year, I've been thinking about some goals. I'm not into "Resolutions"-- I think those are failures in the making, but I have been thinking about what I want to accomplish this year. I thought I would take a moment to write some of them down here (in no particular order).
--I want to run another 5 K this spring.
--I want to go to the temple every month.
--I want to teach a writing class to teens in a correctional facility/youth home.
--I want to keep working on my blog (and hope YOU keep reading it).
--I want to finally find a publisher for my first novel (it's already at it's 4th publisher as we speak).
--I want to finish rewriting one of the other novels or middle grade books I've started.
--I want to finally start writing that book on women & friendship.
--I want to go to St. George to visit the Red Rocks Wildlife preserve and see their desert tortoises.
--I want to keep going to yoga once a week and running twice a week.
--I want to go to Southern California again. I might even take my family too! ;o)
--I want to keep writing for two columns in our community.
It's lunchtime and I need to go. I'll be adding more as I think of them.
Sarah
p.s. today's irony: listening to Louis Armstrong's "What a Wonderful World" while my 5 year old son screams in his bedroom while kicking his door with both feet as hard as he can. Aah, such is life.
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