A DEEP and resounding Sigh (with a slight groan on the side)

What a difference a day makes.


Especially in Utah.

.....pppssssttttt.....come here and look at this!!

Do you see it? Yep, no snow for the first time in three months! But look closer!



See it yet??





How about now??




There! Aren't they wonderful?



The best sign that spring is coming! I don't have to worry about jinxing the nice weather anymore. As I was loading the pictures for the post, the newsman on the radio said "Snow is coming."

Nuts! But even if these sweet shoots are covered with snow again, they will still be there!

BECAUSE SPRING IS COMING!!! HOORAY!!

Glory! Fame! Honor!! More Glory!

Last night during our "night chat" my hubby and I were talking about blogging, and he made the comment that if I took all of the things I had done in a month and put them into one post, my life would seem amazing. That's the "danger" of blogging-- it's like a highlights show. "HIGH"lights. You don't get "lowlights" unless you're discussing hair weaves. All the glorious, exciting, wonderful, impressive things get put in and all the rest of it.... well, it just gets overlooked. Or in my case, blown into a funnier-than-real-life post. It's easy to read people's blogs and picture their perfect life. It makes me wish we could peek behind the post to see the chaos (and the stains and tears on their pajamas! Oh wait, is that only me who has comfy pjs that are, uh, well-loved?? Hmm, well then you look for something else...)

So where was I? Oh yes, glory. It would be tempting to add just the glories of my life. Okay, I'm lying. It's not really tempting. I'd rather present the ironies and catastrophies and dramas of my life. DRAMAS! Good gravies, do I have a lot of those? It's because I have children. EVERYTHING is a drama! Like this morning: "MOM! Where are my red pants with the kitty on it?" Me: "Well, I put them in the laundry basket after I was done wearing them last week." Daughter: eyes rolling, "Whatever." Though, I can't remember if she actually said "whatever" or if she just implied it through her expression. Hmmm....oh well. Needless to say, she didn't care for my answer. She wanted drama! She wanted me to tear apart the house desperately searching for those pants.

I didn't. The selfish mother that I am, I continued to calmly eat my toast.

Go ahead, shake your head if you must. It's the truth.

So here's my life right this moment: the "Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room" song is playing on the living room iPod (LOVE THAT PLACE! The Tiki room is the best place in Disneyland); my toddler is trying to climb onto the table so he can spill his brother's water cup and knock all the napkins onto the floor. Shoot, now he's standing on the table....hold on!..... OK, I'm back. I gave him his juice cup and a small can of diced green chilis to satisfy him. He only wanted the chilis. That's my boy! Crimenently! He just chucked it across the living room. That's his latest thing-- hitting and throwing and smacking. Sounds like a boy. My dog is making small piles of food on the floor and then individually smelling each piece so he can eat selected ones-- and NOT the food he put on the floor earlier. My son is waiting for me to stop ignoring him and/or coming up with excuses why I can't right this immediate moment before he dies start reading the next Star Wars book and is occupying himself by being a task master for his baby brother and shouting directions at him for what not to do. My birds are out and are flying laps around the living room and kitchen. My male bird is holding onto the edging of the cabinet doors and squawking at his mate. They were both taking turns sitting on my head earlier, but have since replaced my head for a more stable landing pad--like the cabinets. My kitchen is sorta clean (in a glass half-full sort of way). There's only about 15 things on the floor. Not too bad.

Ah, new paragraph-- too much text is hard to take. I am contemplating making banana bread for my hubby since I have too many "ripe" bananas. Who knew that the green ones would turn yellow faster in the bag? My toddler is now pushing the toy piano up and down the hall. Must sound better. And, I want you to know, that I am dressed and my hair is done! Shock, huh?? Yessiree, it's shaping up to be a real fine day. Okay, I'm slightly tempted to tell you that I ran over 2 miles this morning while the toddler was sleeping, but I won't go there. This isn't about the glory, right?? It's about life. My life as we speak. Now, I'm listening to a "Snow White" song on the iPod-- it's the "Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho" song. Just flicked the bird off the counter.

Can't think of any other semi-normal thing to post. Can't even think of something I could put a positive spin on so it sounds more impressive. Sorry. I will disappoint you with the normalacy of my life. And suddenly my automatic spell checker is NOT working so I don't know if I just spelled normalacy right. Hmmm. What happened to that thing?

Oh hey! I think I hear the mail truck! Woo-hoo! I can go get the mail! Sweet!

Well, that's all for me. Toodles! Enjoy your life, in whatever form it falls into each day. Don't stress too much about the glory! It will come-- hey!

If you live it, it will come! (meaning the glory. So inspirational.)

Gotta go get the mail!

I Spy....with my little eye.....

Let's play "I Spy."


For this version, we're visiting my kitchen! Find the following items, underneath each picture!
====================================================


-half-made wheat bread dough
-crystallized honey that wasn't easy to use in the bread recipe
-1/2 pound bag of arrowroot powder, good for making soy ice cream
-green Costco bananas, still in bag
-sink full of dirty dishes that need to be hand washed
-used aluminum foil from last night
-untaken vitamin from lunch
-half of a box of frosted Valentine's day cookies
-mounds of spilled flour
-dirty dishtowel
-empty water cup-- boy, I'm thirsty
-slightly used steak knife (hmm, how dirty is it??)
-grease splatters on the wall
-newly washed potholder sitting out, NOT put away
-unfilled water bottles
-dirty cloth napkin in the sink
-lid to flour container on floor
-tube of Lansinoh nursing cream (why???)

---------------------------------------------------------


-pile of dog food on the floor
-empty popcorn bowl (empty before landing o the floor, thank goodness)
-latest library book, 6 pages read
-new container of yet another acne prevention medicine to try
-copy of "Hand, hand, fingers, thumb," board book version
-plastic sppons leftover from Friday night's party
-my headphones (minus iPod) from my latest run
-son's homework
-latest Joann's ad
-daughter's instructions for her first written report which is due next week and not yet started
-my "To Do" list which seems so nice and uncluttered
-Little People airplane with a farmer in tow
-shoes
-laptop in a rare moment of "sleep" mode
-2 yards of ribbon (I have no idea why)
-slightly used and dried baby wipe on the floor
-magnetic letter on floor
-roll of duct tape
-expired coupon for free bowling game

---------------------------------------------------------


-flattened fruit roll-up boxes, to have "boxtops for education" cut out and then to be recycled
-dirty plastic table cloth from Friday's party
-can opener
-ice scream (!) scoop
-baby monitor in bag
-number 10 can of applesauce
-birthday yard flag
-leftover soda cans
-last week's mail
-twine
-empty canning jars
-staple remover
-baby socks
-cooling rack for baking
-spilled dog food
-fallen down streamers from party

---------------------------------------------------------
BONUS QUESTION!!!
Look carefully in all three pictures and.....(drum roll, please).........

Find the Maid.



I couldn't find her either. That's why my kitchen is a disaster!

Random Post-- Something you'll probably never hear in real life!

"Now that is one good-looking comb-over."

"Busy" War Cry

I have such a pet peeve about the "Busy"-ness excuse that gets thrown around these days. Everybody is busy; life is busy; you're busy; I'm busy; we're too busy to eat; we're too busy to talk; we're busy as little bees. The breaking point for me came when the graham cracker box told me how the crackers could aid me in my busy life. Are you kidding me? graham crackers? uh-huh (eyes rolling).

It's a struggle for me to realize that there will NEVER be enough time for me to do ALL the things I want to do. No matter what age I'm at or what age my kids are or what my husband is/isn't doing for school, there will always be more to do than time to do it. I will always be faced with the issue of choosing between things-- and most of the time the choice is between two or three good choices (running or reading, for example). I mean, if it were always easy ("Would you like to go see a movie or have a root canal?? movie? good choice"), life would be much, much easier.

It reminds me of a kids' song we listen to our house:
Busy, Busy, frightfully Busy
You've NO idea what we have to do.
Busy, Busy, horribly Busy
Much, much to busy for you.

I learned a technique from a women's conference last year that I really like.....even if I keep forgetting to use it! (muttering 'drat' under my breath). The presenter simply said when you are asked to do something you don't want to or can't do you simply say:

"I'm sorry but that doesn't work for me right now."

I once heard another suggestion about being so gracious in declining offers that people can hardly tell that you're turning them down. I tried that once. I was nauseating. I never did it again.

Now I just tend to say "yes." Because I think "technically, I do have some free time" and then I get sucked into doing things that I really don't wish to do. Like being the area coordinator for the emergency calling tree for my kids' school. I hate it. I thought, no one else has said yes and there aren't any others in my neighborhood, and I'm very skilled in emergency preparedness, and... I let someone else's problem become mine. I did the job as best I could but I couldn't find one last block captain. And now that stupid "action item" is perpetually stuck on my "To Do" list and I resent it. When I tried to explain to one of the coordinators at the school that there wasn't any other options of a block captain, I got a rather defensive response and ended up feeling stupid. It was the "well, everybody is busy and we just all have to help..."

GAWK!!!!

So each week I ignore the fact that I have yet to find another block captain and I visualize myself declining to fill the role of the area coordinator for next year (and not feel guilty if they can't find someone to replace me). Luckily for me, they aren't really on top of the emergency calling tree and no one has ever called me to follow up on it. And school is out in three months. And I'm practicing saying "I'm sorry it just won't work for me to the be the area coordinator for this school year." "I'm sorry it just WON'T work for me to be the area coordinator..."

You know, it just all comes down to priorities. Ya either wanna do it or ya don't. Period. If you want to, you make time either now or later. If you don't, you don't. But it all gets clouded by the "I'm so busy" excuse. You will rarely hear me that I am busy. I do have a very busy life; there's a lot going on for me. Maybe that's why people ask me to do things.... Anyways, I don't like the "Busy" warcry and I won't use it.

And I'm going to get better at saying "NO!" or "No, thank you" or "no." Nyet, non, o-nay, any way will do.

Until then, I'd like to write more on this subject, but I'm sorry that just doesn't work for me...


(nice, huh? I'll keep working on it to make it more believeable.)

Flashback

Last week I got my scrapbooking act together and found that I was only two years behind on it! Hooray! But while I was sorting through the pictures, I came across a picture that was taken of me receiving an award for all the abuse advocacy I did at the time. I was wearing a suit and standing on stage (and wearing makeup) and having my life reviewed by the announcer.

It was very uncomfortable for me being in the spotlight. I felt odd!

But as odd as it was then, it was even odder looking at the picture of me now that I am more of a full-time mom. I didn't have my toddler then. I was a mother of two kids, one in school full-time and one in preschool part-time. I had a lot more time and I did a lot-- speaking events every week, media coverage, interviews with the First Lady of the state, advocacy, groups, book promotions, etc. I was very busy at the time.

And then I gave it all up. I was ready to be done being big and important. My power suits and clothes got pushed to the back of my closet (they are still there) and I focused on being home more.

Today I got to pull out-- and dust off-- my power suit. I wore the same outfit this morning to a meeting that I wore when I received my award. It fit a bit more snuggly around the waist and I felt strange wearing it. I went to my meeting at a local school district, fulfilled my role as co-chair of the Task Force, and then came home and put my jeans and guitar t-shirt back on. Ahhh! Much more me.

Some days I regret giving it all up. But only for a moment. Some days I'd rather be anywhere but here, in my house with all that is required to keep it running. Most days though I am happy to wear my pajamas or jeans and be "The Mom."

And now I have to go because my toddler found my open box of tampons and has one by one tossed them over the railing down the stairs. Ah, such is the life. Much more amusing than this morning's meeting! :o)

I have PROOF!! Pictures of the black mangy cat!

Hooray! I finally managed to not only see the cat, but take pics!


See it between the fence and the doghouse covering??


Look, then it jumps down out of the playhouse:


Then it walks toward the house:

Then it sees me through the window furiously taking its picture. See the look of abject terror on its face? Or is that gratitude? I can't tell.


But as it walked away, I could see how scrawny it is under all that fur. At least it's being fed now!

Now you know that there really is a cat! And the other cat-- not the bar-hopping one-- was seen yesterday. All three of them are black, though I will admit that the other two might actually just be one cat and I'm a bit confused. Wouldn't be the first time. Would be a whole lot easier if they wore name badges or something: "Hi, My Name is __Mangy Cat__"

------------------------------------------------------------------

Later this afternoon while I made dinner the cat came back and I got another good photo of the cat.

Welcoming Committee

This is who meets me at the gate when I return home and say farewell when I depart. Aren't they cute?


This is Lady, my buff orpington hen. She's not as friendly as Queenie was, but she's still cute. I just love her!

How I'd really, really like to spend my day....

At home, sleeping, in front of a heater or fireplace, with a little food nearby.....

Sigh. What a rough life! I suppose I shouldn't complain too much. It's 11:15 am and I am still in my pajamas....

My Favorite Story on Willpower

(From the book "Frog and Toad Together" by Arnold Lobel)

Toad baked some cookies.
"These cookies smell very good," said Toad.
He ate one. "And they taste even better," he said.
Toad ran to Frog's house.
"Frog, Frog," cried Toad, "taste these cookies that I have made."
Frog ate one of the cookies. "These are the best cookies I have ever eaten!" said Frog.

Frog and Toad ate many cookies, one after another.
"You know, Toad," said Frog, with his mouth full, "I think we should stop eating. We will soon be sick."
"You are right," said Toad. "Let us eat one last cookie, and then we will stop."
Frog and Toad ate one last cookie.
There were many cookies left in the bowl.
"Frog," said Toad, "let us eat one very last cookie, and then we will stop."
Frog and Toad ate one very last cookie.
"We must stop eating!" cried Toad as he ate another.
"Yes," said Frog, reaching for a cookie, "we need will power."
"What is will power?" asked Toad.
"Will power is trying hard not do something that you really want to do," said Frog.
"You mean like trying not to eat all of these cookies?" asked Toad.
"Right," said Frog.

Frog put the cookies in a box. "There," he said. "Now we will not eat any more cookies."
"But we can open the box," said Toad.
"That is true," said Frog. Frog tied some string around the box. "There," he said. "Now we will not eat any more cookies."
"But we can cut the string and open the box," said Toad.
"That is true," said Frog.
Frog got a ladder. He put the box up on a high shelf. "There," said Frog. "Now we will not eat any more cookies."
"But we can climb the ladder and take the box down from the shelf and cut the string and open the box," said Toad.
"That is true," said Frog. Frog climbed the ladder and took the box down from the shelf. He cut the string and opened the box.

Frog took the box outside. He shouted in a loud voice, "HEY BIRDS, HERE ARE COOKIES!!"
Birds came from everywhere. They picked up all the cookies in their beaks and flew away.
"Now we have no more cookies to eat," said Toad sadly. "Not even one."
"Yes," said Frog, "but we have lots and lots of will power."
"You may keep it all, Frog," said Toad. "I am going home now to bake a cake."

----------------------------------------------

Some days I will admit that I am more like Frog and love my will power. And other days I am more like Toad and I want MORE cookies!!!

Enjoy!

Worth of a Woman

"They talk about a woman's sphere,
As though it has a limit;
There's not a place in earth or heaven,
There's not a task to mankind given,
There's not a blessing nor a woe,
There's not a whispered yes or no,
There's not a life, or death, or birth,
That has a feather's weight of worth...
Without a woman in it."

--Poet Unknown

Happy Valentine's Day!!

I hope your day is filled with love! (And less whining and screaming.....) ;o)

The Reason for Cat Drama

Meet Austin. Austin was my cat 13 years ago while I was young, stupid, and involved with a very abusive man. When my "ex" William saw I had grown too attached to Austin, he decided it would be better to get rid of him. So one night we drove into a foothill neighborhood near where we lived and tossed 3 month old Austin out of the window. I was heart-broken and devestated, but completely unable to show any emotion about losing my precious kitten. If I did act upset in the slightest, I would have been beaten severely, and at that point in my relationship it wasn't uncommon to be struck with a baseball bat.

Two weeks later I managed to run away for good. I returned home to my parent's house where for the first time in 6 months I was completely safe. They asked "what do you want?" I cried "I want my cat!" When I explained what had happened, they had little hopes of ever finding Austin again. The next day we printed off "Lost Cat" fliers and drove the neighborhood. While my brother started to hang fliers, I walked up to a house near where Austin had been dropped off.

There, sitting in the sun cleaning himself, was Austin. I started bawling. I scooped him up in my arms and carried him home. I tried hard not to imagine the trauma he experienced during those two weeks, but when I do think about it I am horrified at the fear and confusion, loneliness and hunger he must have felt. My poor cat. I made sure that after that he had a good life, safe and secure.

Can you see why it is so traumatic for me to know that the mangy black haired cat was abandoned by his owners? He was a house cat, not an outdoor cat. And now he is forced to scrounge for his living in the middle of a bitter winter.

I can't let him starve. Because of Austin. Even today, all these years later, the only thing that consistently brings me to tears about being abused is my cat. I have a few tears in my eyes as I type.

I knew I had to introduce you to Austin. He died 8 years ago from kitty leukemia. He's the reason that I'm leaning over my counter every day to spot signs of kitty life in the playhouse. He's the reason that I can't in good conscience let another cat be abandoned. Maybe now you won't think I'm quite so crazy as you might have before! ;o)

At least I can hope that!

Homemade Happiness

I used dough conditioner so it turned out nice and soft. Last time (with a different recipe) it seemed like cardboard. This one is yummy!!

"What do you do all day?"

(from a forwarded email story)

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess.

A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door.

As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"

She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?"

"Yes," was his incredulous reply.

She answered, "Well, today, I didn't do it."

Wistful Thinking.....

I wish I could say that I was the kind of mom who calmly smiled in the face of insults, hitting attempts, and screaming. I wish I could say that I genuinely loved my children and never suppressed a desire to ring their necks or sell them to gypsies. I wish I could steel myself against the inevitable tide coming of female teenage hormones and "I hate you, Mom" sentiments. I wish that I could feel grateful that my son has merely a mood disorder and not a more serious issue that requires say, a catheter or colostomy bag. I wish I never pondered dreamily what it would have been like if I had become a nun....ah, so peaceful and quiet.

But I can't.

Some days (most?) I just don't want to face the meltdowns, explosions, accusations, and anger. I just want to crawl into a hole where earthworms will treat me nicely and nuzzle me with their noses (do they have noses???). Anyways, I'm sure you've all felt this, so I don't need to explain more, right?

Ah, children, they are great some days out of the year. The rest......well..... (eyes rolling, tongue in cheek).

So here's to you moms when you have that RARE moment when your children shriek at you and loudly proclaim how badly they dislike you. I'm right there with you! I feel your pain.

And if you don't know what I'm talking about, just nod and smile politely and serenely-- the way I wish I could when some small thing is screaming at me that I'm the "worst mom in the whole world."

Thank you. ;oD

PHEW!

Big sigh of relief! The mangy, long-haired black cat was back yesterday. Good news!

Right now there is a kitty feeding on the cat/dog food mix in the playhouse. I can't tell which cat it is. But I took pictures for you! Now you too can see my view when I am peeking/straining out my window to see if there's a cat visiting.

First Glance:


Closer......closer....lean over the counter to get closer to the window.....


Practically kneel on the counter trying to get a better look..... Ah ha! There is a cat in there! Can you see it? Right in the middle of the photo, just under the bend of the dog run that houses the chickens, and just under the chewed up edge of the dog-igloo top.... See it? A black form. It's a cat. But I don't think it's the mangy one. I think it's the bar-hopping one.



Second view from the kitchen.... Nuts! Can't see any better.


At first it looked like there might have been two cats, but there ended up only being one inside. And now there is a dent in the food. But the cat escaped over the fence when I was busy changing a messy diaper and putting a boy in time-out. Oh well. At least I got this good picture! ;o)

Proof in the pudding!

(...whispering...that there is a cat....and that I am crazy!.....I know it!)

DRAT!!

There are times in every woman's life when you have to shake a fist to the heavens and shout "Curse you Aqua Scum!!!!"

Sigh. I had one of those moments this morning. I'm sure you've had them too, right?

So Lady, my big brown hen, started BAWK-BAWK-BE-GAWing in her loudest chicken voice this morning at 8:56 which I thought might be a wee bit too early for the neighbors on a Saturday so I leaned out the back door in my grubby pjs and told her to shoosh just as a black cat slipped back over the fence to the neighbor's yard.

DRAT!! I scared off the cat-- and this was the first cat sighting for DAYS!!

I went inside and watched the cat from my kitchen window as it ran to the neighbor's carport and turned to look around.

We made eye contact for a few seconds.

DRAT!! DRAT!! IT'S THE WRONG BLACK CAT!!

Gawk!!!! What happened to the mangy, long-haired cat that was obviously so desperately in need of my intervention and caring??? What's the deal? I'm now leaving food out for some bar-hopping neighborhood kitty who likes to roam the streets in search of the exotic tastes of dog food??

I don't think so. How do I know that this cat is truly needy? Should I ask to see its last year's tax return? Should I have it tracked down to see if it is indeed homeless? Would that be too personal and intrusive? Is it scaring away my heart's desire-- that scraggly, mangy beast who cowered in fear at my very presence that I've continually peeked out window hoping to gain a small glimpse of???

Sigh.

Plus last night I found out that another recently departed neighbor-- one with serious uh, issues,-- has been reported to be wandering the neighborhood in search of her missing cat.

Deep, chest-rattling, unnerving gasp. Am I feeding the crazy lady's cat? Oh, did I say "crazy"? I meant, uh, um-- oh nevermind. Where's a wall for me to bang my head against? Ya try to do a good deed and it backfires! Unless of course I found another needy cat...

To be continued......

(only because I'm assuming that you're just as engaged with this kitty saga as I am! Go ahead, curse me if I'm wrong!)

AMAZING Book!

I just finished the most incredible book this morning (thanks to a nasty bout of insomnia) and had to recommend it to all of you.

"Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet" by Jamie Ford.

Incredible! Amazing! Engaging! Loved it!

Here's a link to the book's page on Amazon.com:
http://www.amazon.com/Hotel-Corner-Bitter-Sweet-Novel/dp/0345505336/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1234023565&sr=8-1

Fresh Baked Bread in 5 minutes a day

Here's a link to a cool website my friend showed me:

http://www.motherearthnews.com/Real-Food/Artisan-Bread-In-Five-Minutes-A-Day.aspx

You can make dough ahead of time, keep it in your fridge, and easily make bread each day.

I've done it all week and I love it. Simple recipe, easy to follow, lots of variations to add. I don't have a pizza peel (but I want one), but I do have a baking stone. I think the baking stone is the key, really. I made my first loaf with half white flour, half wheat flour for a more healthy loaf. The next time I will try all white. It's fun to experiment with. My favorite bread recipe is really time consuming and takes 3 to 4 hours! It's super good, but it's too hard to do a lot. This one is a nice alternative.

Best of luck to you if you try it!

Cat Update

I'm telling you, friends, that a watched cat NEVER comes. I've not seen the cat for three days.

BUT, every night when I bring in the box of food there is small indentation in it. So something is eating it. I'm guessing it's the black cat. He's just sneaky.

BUT, I really hope that eventually BOTH cats will eat it. That would make me feel good. Today I'm going to put out a can of wet cat food. I hope it/they like it.

Thanks for letting me blog about my cat drama!

Life

Last week I was the best mom in the world because I bought my kids a donut treat at the store as a surprise. Sunday I was a "BAD MOM!!!" and today I was the "WORST MOM IN THE WORLD!" (said by a different child). Good thing my toddler can't speak yet or I'd have another title to report! Maybe "diga, diga" is actually insult! I'll have to watch and see.

Hmmmm, that "Mother of the Year" award sure didn't last long. Maybe I should stop making them do their chores and clean their room, eh? (eyes rolling).

Oh well. At least I will remember the donut trick for insuring that I get favorable votes.

Until then, for the moment, no one is screaming in my house.

Oh! And a watched cat never comes. So frustrating. I've been waiting to see the black cat all day and nada. I'm sure it came while I was busy or out. As long as it got something to eat today.

Cue the Happy Dance Music!! I'm on eBay!!

It's true-- I just did a search for my book on Google (I really love to google things) and my book is listed three times on eBay!!! Yes! (Fist pump!) That means I've made it in the world.

OK, so maybe the New York Times Bestseller list would be good, but..... we can't all be that great. For now, I'm satisfied to be on eBay!

Animal Heart Break

You can probably tell that I am an animal lover, seeing as how I have 7 of them in my life. I have such a soft spot for animals, especially cats. I would have a cat too except for the fact that my hubby is allergic to them. So for now we have "hypoallergenic" animals!

Last fall some neighbors moved and left behind two cats. When I heard about it, I was shocked! Owning animals is a responsibility and requires some amount of commitment. While I understand (but don't agree with) the reasons they had for leaving the two behind, I still felt a great amount of anguish over it.

Fast forward three months. I often find neighborhood cats checking out my chickens-- I imagine that their lion-instincts kick in and they fantasize about taking down "large prey." Last week I found a mangy-looking cat in the chicken coop, polishing off the last of the cat food I feed my chickens (yes, I feed them cat food. During the winter it helps to ward off anemia). I did whatever I could to scare off the cat and was satisfied when it scampered over the back fence. Once it disappeared from my sight, I realized-- that may have been the neighbors cat! And I felt sick. It was a very sad looking cat. I wish I had stopped a moment and not scared it off.

Yesterday the cat was back. And this time the other cat was on the other side of the fence. I knew at that moment they were definitely the two abandoned cats. Oh, my heart hurt! They were somehow surviving the freezing temperatures of the winter and the continual lack of food. I tried to be nice to the kitty and called it sweetly, but it still leapt over the fence and ran off with its friend.

I put out a can of cat food and kept peering out my window to see if it would come back. A few hours later, the can was empty. Today I put out some dog food in a bowl and put it where the chickens couldn't get it and where I could see any animal eating it.

I don't know what I'm going to do about this. I want to fix it! I want to save these cats, but three months by themselves have made them very scared of humans. It is cruel to leave them to their own devices. What a sad life! But at the same time, I really can't have hungry cats wandering my backyard. I believe my chickens would defend themselves, but..... I worry about that a bit.

So here I am, feeling responsible to fix a mess that someone else created. Part of me wishes the cats hadn't shown up because of that "out of sight, out of mind" philosophy that works for me. I have no idea how I could catch them either. Oy! Oy! Sometimes I wish my heart wasn't so sensitive to the suffering of others, even animals.

I'll keep you posted.

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10:30 am update--

There was a black cat at the food bowl in the playhouse. I kept peering out the window to see if it was just one or if was both of them, but I couldn't tell. But so far, one of the abandoned cats has eaten. I can't tell you what that does for my heart. I keep thinking: these animals can't starve; not on MY watch.

For today, one hungry cat was fed. And that is enough for me. I know there are consequences for this action that might not be good, but I don't want to think about them for now. One cat is no longer hungry. I feel better.